Finding Jesus

Today I am packing away my nativity set. I can't find Jesus.

You see, I hid Him, so he can't be placed in the nativity early. I grew up learning to wait until after midnight mass to place Him in the nativity. Of course with 5 siblings we all would have to take turns. I grew to love this tradition.

As an adult,for years, our nativity, a treasure, is hand carved from a co-worker of John's from years ago. He gave it to us as a gift. Jesus is carved into the arms of Mary, in this one. I love that image of Mary holding Jesus, mother and son. I love that a co-worker of John's, took the time to use his skill to create such a lovely reminder of this most Holy night. The images are modern and simple, a work of art telling this wonderful story.

My sister Joanne, gave me a beautiful nativity set a few years ago, this too, is quite lovely, in a very traditional way, ceramic and every detail is painted on the fine china figures. This nativity enables me to hide Jesus. The baby is seperated from the manger. I have reintroduced this childhood tradition. I get great joy each year when I put them both out. Both are filled with memories and my heart waits with anticipation each year for the new memories created from not only my Advent journey put Christmas as well.

Late Christmas night I went to place Jesus in the manger and I couldn't find him. I can't remember where I hid him. Twelve days past Christmas, as I packed my nativity away, I realize this has had greater meaning for me.

My Advent journey has been both amazing and difficult this year.

I have had some amazing moments in prayer, which comfort me. There have been prayers of just tears, with God knowing what is on my heart when I can't say a word. There have been prayers of thanksgiving, in the quiet of the night as I watched the sun rise, giving hope and promise to the light of a new day. There have been some very difficult moments with prayers for the anguish in my heart, which at times, seems to squeeze the life out of me with a grip so strong that all I can do it put myself in the trust of God's care, because if I didn't I could slip into a dark night of the soul. Through my struggles and through my joys God has blessed me with His presence this Advent bringing me closer and closer Bethlehem.

The light of Christmas for me this year is yet another journey of clarity, perspective, presence and faith that
"all things are possible with God". Because of my faith, I know that God is always with me. I am also learning that God's Presence is with me, at times, in very real ways. This is a gift and almost humanly impossible to describe.

One night in particular, as I walked the labyrinth, my prayer was joined by Presence. I felt a pressing on my entire being. It consumed me. I would walk and pause feeling this pressing and I would take in deep breaths. We each breath, I felt as if I stepped out of myself into a veil of oneness, yet I continued my journey as if someone was walking it for me. As I walked closer to the center there was a calm, peaceful, energy within me, it consumed me and dropped me to my knees. I stayed there for quite some time. There was a glorious presence within me and around me. I don't know how much time passed but I stayed there with this strength, tenderness and peace not of this world. What I felt was an all consuming, all encompassing, real loving embrace and I say: Thank you God for choosing me and for the blessing of resting in You.

"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."
Thessalonians 5:23-24

Henri Nouwen writes in his book "Life of the Beloved" that "as soon as we catch a glimpse of this truth, we are puton a journey in search of fullness of that truth and we will not rest until we can rest in that truth. From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make.St. Augustine words, My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God, capture well this journey."

Finding Jesus is different for everyone and the journey is so uniquely personal.

I realized my "missing Jesus" really has deeper meaning for me. I realize the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of love, always yearning for truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of love and of truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found...a very personal relationship with Jesus, that is beginning to embody who I am. Henri Nouwen also talks about how we grow from being the Beloved to fully becoming it. He says,"Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say, or do."

I think for me, this is my Epiphany light this year and where the work of Christmas begins.

To become and embrace what it is that God is calling me to be.To trust in the light he continues to guide me to. It is like a fusion of His will to my soul in a most glorious way. I heard a sermon a few weeks ago that resonated with me. I am parapharasing but the essence was, trust in God and step out of His way so He can work in my life. Oh, and the possibilities are limitless. I need to trust in what God asks of me and in the truth he reveals to me, embracing the ongoing power and sacredness of the incarnation, and being an example of God's hands and heart in the world, surrounded by and trusting the Epiphany light each and every day.

So, I smile. My manger may be empty with a missing ceramic Jesus, but I have found Jesus right where God wants him to be, in my heart and working in my life for His glory and to be a blessing to others.


The Work of Christmas by Howard Thurman

When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their
flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry
To release the prisoners,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among people,
To make music in the heart.

Namaste,
Maureen

God's Letter

A number of years ago I read this and have kept it tucked in my bible. I do not know who the author is. How wonderful of this author to think about God in this way, a father writing a letter to His son on the night of His birth.

I wonder what God's letter to me would say this Christmas. What would God's letter to you say? Something to ponder. Breathe in the breath of God and listen.

Namaste'
Maureen

My son Jesus,

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. I created you in my image and likeness. Out of nothing, I formed your body into a temple for the Holy Spirit, and I breathed life into you. I shaped your mind, your talents, your emotions, and I formed a plan for your life that fits you perfectly. You are my son whom I love; remain in my love.

Behold I stand at the door and knock. Will you let Me in? Out of love I created you, and out of love I seek to be with you. I have called you by name, and given you the choice to love Me or to reject Me. I ask that you open your heart to Me and follow Me. What will separate you from Me? I have seen your past, and I know your future. Though you may stray from Me, I am rich in mercy and grace. Come back to Me with a humble heart, ask for forgiveness, and you will be forgiven.
You have a deep fierce heart. I gave you this heart for the battles that you will fight. Like Me, you are a warrior. You will be attacked by temptation, loneliness, and your own desires. So put on my armor so that you will be able to stand firm against the evil one. I have clothed you with power from on High. Pick up the sword of prayer and the shield of faith. Call out to Me, and I will give you courage under trial, resistance under temptation, and patience to endure. With Me, you have what it takes.

You have been called to guard and protect the purity that I have placed within you and around you. Guard the purity found within you, and only then can you guard the purity and beauty of women. Give your heart to Me; surrender to Me; allow Me to form your desires and transform your fears. At the perfect time I will bring you a woman for whom you can give your whole life, or you will join with Me in total love for my Bride, the Church. Your bride will be a gift for you. Prepare now to fight for her and defend her, to love her and encourage her in holiness. Let all you do reflect the dignity that I have given to you, and honor those around you. You are called to lay down your life as I have laid down my life for you. There is no greater love than this that a man should lay down his life for another. It is in losing your life that you will gain it. Will you lay down your life for Me?
I love you. Trust in me. Trust that the plan I have for you will bring you the peace the world cannot give. Take delight in my plan for you, and I will grant you your heart’s desires, and you will become the man I created you to be. Walk with Me, as I walk with you. Endure to the end, and we shall dwell together in my Kingdom forever.

With all my love,
God, your Father

Grieving Lisa

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you will see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
The Prophet

Two years ago today, my friend Lisa died from stage 4 metastasized breast cancer.

I had no idea that today I would be revisiting grief as strongly as I am. It is as if my body physically remembers every emotion and physical response I had to Lisa's death in the days and nights leading up to her passing as we cared for her.

The last week of Lisa's life was such a gift from her to me. Lisa put me together with two other women, dear friends, to care for her in her final days. The bond that the three of us formed is such a blessing and a gift from Lisa.

I heard in a sermon once that grief is the privilege of having loved.

I loved my friend and I miss her.

The minutes leading up to Lisa's death are so fresh in my mind today. I can still feel that moment and the sacred presence in her room. I can still see her eyes open one last time and the clarity in those beautiful blue eyes meeting mine, knowing it was good-bye and to gather her children and husband.

Lisa's final journey to life eternal began right after Thanksgivng that year during Advent. The Advent Vigil was Lisa's Vigil that December. We all were waiting with her for the light, the light of Christ to bring her home. As I think of what each candle of the Advent wreath means and our prayers each week, I look back to two years ago and yes,for my friend, HOPE was always present. HOPE for healing and for guidance to let go. PEACE was always present. God was never absent from Lisa on her journey He was preparing her for something new, life eternal and that peace that passes all understanding. This was so beautiful to watch unfold during her final hours.It was as if she became peace of pure spirit. JOY was always present. Through sadness there was JOY. JOY that with Lisa's passing she is with God in heaven and all her questions are answered. LOVE was always present. The candle of LOVE signifies the love of God that surrounds and fills us at all times. There is no greater power than love. We love because God loves us. It is because of this LOVE that Lisa was able to see the light of Christ coming into the world to take her home.

Our entire lives are a Vigil. We are always watching and waiting and when our hearts join with the heart of God we become joined together with HOPE, PEACE, JOY, and LOVE for all eternity.

I will always miss Lisa, especially during this time of year. The many joys of the many years of our friendship will always make me laugh and smile, the greatest JOY though has been the privilege of waiting with her for the hand of God to reach for her and bring her into new light.

Namaste'
Maureen

"Remember, Honor, Teach"

Freedom isn't free.

Each time I visit Arlington National Cemetery I am speechless.

Tomb stone, after tomb stone, after tomb stone.

Who were these people? Loyalty, devotion, dedication, love and fear are words that always come to mind. Did they volunteer? Were they drafted? Did they run away from something hoping for a better life? How did they die? Old age? Accidental? At war?

Tomb stone, after tomb stone, after tomb stone.

Today I see a sea of wreaths leaning on the gravesites of these men and woman who have served.

The Arlington Wreath project began nearly twenty years ago after a young boy of 12 came to Arlington National Cemetery on a school trip. The education he received that day spoke to his heart about freedom, sacrifice and always honoring our veterans of all service to America. So, this young boy headed back to Maine and began his mission. At the young age of 12, he really didn't know what was beginning. Life for him moved on and "he always recognized that his success as a businessman was in large part, due to the values of this Nation and the Veterans who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country." The local wreath company had an excess of wreaths and helped this dream become a reality. At first the wreaths were laid in the older section of Arlington because at that time it was receiving less visitors. Now , people come from all over the United States to participate in this event and passing this onto local areas with Wreaths Across America.

What happens after today though? Do we remember, honor and teach, when the caroling stops and the good will becomes a memory? This awareness is so much more than just today and Christmastime. It needs to be ongoing.

Isn't this what God asks of us at Christmas... To Go Forth beyond Advent and Christmas with love and our good will to all, to honor the birth of Jesus ,teach that he will come again and remember that each Christmas we are beginning again; renewed with the light and ongoing transformation of our own Christmas story.

Maybe the wreaths are that light at Arlington Cemetary, a tangible reminder of serving and trusting in where you are led to serve, no matter the cost and going forth in faith.

Prepare now to fight for her and defend her, to love her and encourage her in holiness. Let all you do reflect the dignity that I have given to you, and honor those around you. You are called to lay down your life as I have laid down my life for you.24 There is no greater love than this that a man should lay down his life for another.25 It is in losing your life that you will gain it.26 Will you lay down your life for Me?I love you.27 Trust in me.28 Trust that the plan I have for you will bring you the peace the world cannot give.

With gratitude, I remember and honor the many soldiers and their families who have answered God's call to serve our country.

Namaste'
Maureen

The Labryinth

I am a wanderer
Set forth on a journey
On a path by the desires of my soul
Aimlessly seeking

Where am I going?
I feel lost along the way
Aimlessly seeking

I am taken
Taken, in the winding road of my journey
lifted to stillness

calm
centered

Come Holy Spirit
rest in Thee.

Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord: Advent Day 8

Advent Day 8
Daily Office Readings: Isaiah 11:1-0, Roamns 15:4-13, Matthew 3:1-2

PEACE: Prepare Ye the Way of the Lord

Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.

I baptize you with water for repentance, but one who is more powerful than I is coming after me; I am not worthy to carry his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.
Matthew 3:3&11

Hope for the Future: Advent Day 7

Advent Day 7

HOPE. Hope for the future.

I am straying from reflecting on the daily office readings today. I have been up again in the dark and watched the rise over the horizon. The beauty in this, is I ask myself, as I see light beginning to peak, "OK, God what is your plan for me today? How will my internal Advent and the outside world join together today between Saturday morning chores, an all day wrestling match with my son, work that needs to get done for work, and spending time with my family". Life happens admist the calm of the Advent journey I am trying to engage in.

I think this is part of the journey. Being present to and aware of what is happening around me, yet listening for the quiet whispers and gentleness that is tugging on my heart this morning. All I can think about is Mary.

As I sit all comfy in the sunroom wrapped in a blanket, I think about the grace that flowed into her by the heart of God. This grace strengthened and supported her to bring Jesus into the world. If you think about it, Mary alwasy brings us to Jesus. First by carrying Him as we wait in Advent, then his birth, in the temple years later,then she brings us to Jesus at the foot of the cross.

There is in her a spirit that is intelligent, holy,
unique, manifold, subtle,
mobile, clear, unpolluted,
distinct, invulnerable, loving the good, keen,
irresistible, beneficent, humane,
steadfast, sure, free from anxiety,
all-powerful, overseeing all,
and penetrating through all spirits
that are intelligent, pure, and altogether subtle.
For wisdom is more mobile than any motion;
because of her pureness she pervades and penetrates all things.
For she is a breath of the power of God,
and a pure emanation of the glory of the Almighty;
therefore nothing defiled gains entrance into her.
For she is a reflection of eternal light,
a spotless mirror of the working of God,
and an image of his goodness.
Wisdom of Solomon 7:22-26

I feel a gentleness consume me when I read this. I also can't help but think about her on that long journey to Bethlehem. Was she cold as she walked with Joseph? Was her heart settled in that peace that passes all understanding, knowing God was with her, guiding Joseph to guide them? knowing she was carrying the Christ child? Do you think she ever thought, "Why did I say Yes and rock the boat, turning my life upsidedown? I could be home with all that is familiar." Even if she did think these things, God knew those words on her heart and He would provide comfort that one comes to know when we truely step out in faith.

I am in awe of her journey but I know I can not follow in her footsteps. They are hers. I feel God calling me to create my own, my unique path. I will continue to stumble to find the right road on my journey, that will not only bring me joy and peace but will glorify God.

Namaste'
Maureen