Jeremiah 2: 4-13
Hebrews: 13: 1-8, 15-16
Luke 14: 1-14
I had the honor and privilege of preaching today.
I was sitting with my friend Kelly, who along with Lisa invited me to attend
St. David's 6 years ago. Kelly too was speaking today during announcements for our "ministy minute". I turned to Kelly and said, "This is where it all began for you and I...at the 10:45 service." I smiled to myself thinking here we both were in row #2! We use to sit in the last row, 6 years ago and here we both were today at the lecturn. God works.
I didn't think about posting my sermon until a faithful, loving parishioner, who I respect so much said. "You are going to post that,aren't you? I check your blog once a week." Well, this is for him, for his encouragement and in honor of the loving way both he and his wife serve God.
So, here goes.
Good Morning.
I’d like to tell you a story. A true story. I love Thanksgiving. I love everything about it: the planning, the shopping, the preparation, the feast , the clean up and the left overs. A few years ago I was out shopping . I was having, what I refer to as “ My Martha Moment”. I was busy, busy busy. I was busy with preparations, looking for that perfect napkin holder, table cloth and candles.
I was SO BUSY that I didn’t notice the women watching me, until she said “ You seem to be getting ready for quite a holiday”. I answered her and we both got to talking about Thanksgiving, family,friends, traditions and who we invite. When I asked her what she was doing, she said she
wasn’t sure. You see she shared that she was new to the area and was just getting settled and she was alone. Well, I told her she couldn’t be alone for Thanksgiving, no one should be alone and she had to come to my home . She hesitated looked at me strangely. She asked me if I was serious. I said yes. She hesitated. I insisted. We exchanged phone numbers. I paid for my purchases and off I went.
When I arrived home I couldn’t wait to tell my family about our newest guest. What is one more when you have 40 coming for dinner, right? When I shared what had happened on my shopping trip my family responded with:
You did what? You don’t even know her!
You really invited a stranger to Thanksgiving dinner?
You gave her our phone number? Our address?
What if she robs us?
My favorite is: Mom, what if she is a murderer?....true story
They weren’t happy , they questioned my judgement. I was in a bit of trouble with my family but true to form, I forged on knowing this was the right thing to do.. I continued as planned. Thanksgiving came and I set a place for our guest, our other guests arrived and I waited. I waited. After a certain amount of time we began dinner but I couldn’t remove the place setting just in case
she came. I didn’t want her to feel awkward if she arrived late. I put this place setting among my family and friends, knowing to the right was someone who would take care of her, making her feel welcome and to the left of her was someone who would engage her in conversation.My guest never arrived . Every year this story comes up, the kids tease me and then the conversation always gets serious , they always ask, who do you think she was? Mom, why did you do that? Every year I say
the same thing, I did that because the loving thing is always the right thing to do. I don’t know who she was, maybe she was someone who needed to talk that day, maybe she was someone who needed an invitation to feel included…..or maybe she was an angel.
In today’s readings Jesus teaches us not to be exclusive about whom we invite to our home. God opens His Kingdom to everyone, teaching us to be hospitable despite any rule or social convention, even if it gets you into trouble.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus gets himself into a bit of trouble. First, he heals on the Sabbath, then he rejects protocol. You see, ancient meals were social ceremonies. People noticed and knew where one ate, with whom one ate ,where one sat. All of these determined one’s social position.
Historically, the Pharisees were not the bad guys. They were devoutly committed to keeping God’s law. The man with dropsy was not in immediate danger ,if his life was at stake healing on the Sabbath would have been acceptable. For Jesus to heal him was disrespectful to the standards of the time.
What was Jesus doing? Jesus was shaking things up, as he always does. He was redefining social order, protesting discriminatory meal practices and placing priority on the needs of a fellow human being no matter what. For Jesus, meals were for celebration and fellowship. He was redefining the standards by which one gains honor in God’s eyes. The Glory that only God can give.
Jesus was teaching our obligation to one another when we are in need and always.
Jesus flips the social order to the ways of God. The first shall be last and the last, first. He also tells “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted”
We also see this reversal way back in Luke’s gospel, in the Magnificat, Mary says:
" he scatters the proud imagination of their hearts, brings the powerful down from their thrones, and lifts up the lowly, who fills the hungry with good things, and send the rich away empty.”
Jesus urges us to practice generous, loving hospitality to everyone regardless of social status, Hospitality that does not worry about getting invited in return…or getting anything in return Remember His words in today’s reading from Hebrew’s:, “Do not neglect to do good, and share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.”
We share a sacred trust with God. We make a commitment to Him when we renew our
Baptismal Covenant. We promise to continue in the Apostle’s teaching AND fellowship, AND in the breaking of bread…..
We promise. In doing so, we have made a personal Covenant with God.
So maybe this hospitality that Jesus talks about is for our neighbors ,just because. . Maybe it is for your friend. Maybe it is hosting an exchange student, Maybe it is helping a local family in need, or the elderly among us, or the family you helped at REACH, or a young girl at the Bromley School, or a young
boy in El Hogar. Jesus tells us in today's Hebrew lesson “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels with our knowing it’.
Are there people here among us today, in our covenant community who we could share a
meal with? Someone who possibly can’t put one on their own table tonight? Someone who is lonely? Someone who is imprisoned in the wrong job, a bad or abusive marriage, depression or chronic illness. When we cultivate heartfelt loving, humble hospitality we are living God’s dream, in God’s way.
Oh, the blessings will come – not from other people, even though that does happen from time to time.
The blessings always come from God.
So, as we listen each week to our Ministry Minute during announcements in preparation for our Celebration of Ministries Service and Fair,let us really live the Gospel and invite those we don’t know or those who make us uncomfortable into our circle, our ministries,
and our church home, to share in the most sacred meal of the Eucharist? Everyone
is welcome at His table.
When Jesus says, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind, most of the time that sounds an awful lot like us, doesn't it? Poor in knowledge and faith, crippled by our own poverty, wealth, or addictions or blindly struggling…
We have resources and we have one another. These are our blessings. The blessing and good news for everyone is that God is real, God is love, God lives in us. He is with us now. He is in every corner of the world , in every bit of creation and God’s will for everyone is life ….. abundant life.
We can share our abundance. It is not diminished by even the most extravagant
wastefulness…so give it out freely, without any expectation of anything in return. Risk it on the ungrateful, waste it on lost causes, spend it on everyone you come across. God’s love is a fountain that turns deserts into streams of living water.
It doesn’t belong to us so that we can hoard it, we’re just stewards of it, until we take our own place at the great banquet table, alongside all the other poor , crippled, blind and lame ,who like us, could never repay our host for this invitation.
So, until that time,"together,let us not forget to do good and to share what we have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God."
Nameste,
Maureen
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
The Little Church on the Hill
What a wonderful evening.
I drove out to Winchester with a dear friend to a small church for their 5pm service. It was lovely. It felt like going home for Thanksgiving dinner. Welcoming, comfortable , like I was never away. I have never worshipped here. There was an intimacy that was so inviting. God is everywhere.
I think for me one of the gifts of this evening was I was able to worship 100% and not think about anything else. Now, please don't misunderstand, I love, love , love my home parish. I do though think about all the stuff each Sunday to make sure that things are ok for everyone there. That is probably why when I am not the verger I like to stay for the additional service to worship. That is why I get to church early for the 9am service as the praise band rehearses and I review the slides. It is a prayerful time for me. I experience the church differently as the morning builds....God and me...God, me and the band....God , me, the band and the Rector...God, me, the band, the Rector, the congregation...the energy builds, the Holy Spirit is with us and it is awesome.
Tonight though, I was able to just worship. I could sit quietly before service and breathe in the breath of God. There is an amazing cross suspended above the altar. Powerful. The simplicity of the piano music alone created a prayerful exchange of hymns embracing the small congregation. Singing is not my gift, yet tonight I found myself singing joyfully to the Lord. Oh, and they may be starting a Celtic service....
Thank you, to the little church on the hill.
Namaste,
Maureen
I drove out to Winchester with a dear friend to a small church for their 5pm service. It was lovely. It felt like going home for Thanksgiving dinner. Welcoming, comfortable , like I was never away. I have never worshipped here. There was an intimacy that was so inviting. God is everywhere.
I think for me one of the gifts of this evening was I was able to worship 100% and not think about anything else. Now, please don't misunderstand, I love, love , love my home parish. I do though think about all the stuff each Sunday to make sure that things are ok for everyone there. That is probably why when I am not the verger I like to stay for the additional service to worship. That is why I get to church early for the 9am service as the praise band rehearses and I review the slides. It is a prayerful time for me. I experience the church differently as the morning builds....God and me...God, me and the band....God , me, the band and the Rector...God, me, the band, the Rector, the congregation...the energy builds, the Holy Spirit is with us and it is awesome.
Tonight though, I was able to just worship. I could sit quietly before service and breathe in the breath of God. There is an amazing cross suspended above the altar. Powerful. The simplicity of the piano music alone created a prayerful exchange of hymns embracing the small congregation. Singing is not my gift, yet tonight I found myself singing joyfully to the Lord. Oh, and they may be starting a Celtic service....
Thank you, to the little church on the hill.
Namaste,
Maureen
Youth Ministry
Okay. I can't believe I am writing about Youth Ministry. I am not a Youth Leader and my children do not attend Youth Group at my church. There are times I can not even relate to my children, so how could I possibly relate to any other youth? Crazy. I know God is stirring something within me and I am letting this percolate.
I continually have thoughts about Youth Ministry, programing ideas and God has given me this vision, a sort of a music video that plays out in my mind, of youth worship in a space they created in this tiny room at my church, with an altar that was built together, with a very talented woodworking gifted parishioner I know. Oh, and the kids have painted this room with a mural of their design. The music and liturgy they create is God inspired and inviting. As God's music video plays out, I see an intergenerational exchange: adults, seniors, younger children, and people from their ministry work sharing this prayer time and Eucharist with them. There are no boundaries, they have built relationships within our community and beyond, in the shelters, seniors centers and with the lonely and struggling peers they see each day at school and in their neighborhoods. They are there with their best friend and with the person who removed them from friend status on face book. In addition, the youth fully engage in what they refer to as the "too traditional, not welcoming 10:45 traditional service". In this vision, there is a sense of real belonging in a faith community, young and old alike, embracing liturgy, one another's differences and uniqueness. I believe this can happen.
I woke this morning about 4:30am thinking about youth. I thought about an awesome young lady at my church who will begin and lead a HS Bible study this fall, (totally her idea BTW). I thought of the college freshman who is leaving this week, remembering to check my facebook messages to see if she has responded to getting together before she leaves. I thought about my daughter who has been so moved by her experience in Young Life in HS and a mission trip she took to Jamaica. I thought about my youngest son who patiently sits and listens to me practice my sermon, when I have the privilege to preach.He asks me questions. Good hard questions. I thought of his service project for his HS this year; clothing and food drives for the needy in our county,(I don't think they know they all are living, breathing disciples). I am thankful that my children expect me to pray before we eat whether we are dining at a crowded mall, a local restaurant, or our table at home with one another and friends. I woke to thinking about youth in general, my kids, the kids in my neighborhood and everywhere. Have I done enough? Am I doing enough?
How can kids develop faith that impacts their lives when our world in general seems to have the opinion where church and God are less and less revelant. Locally, here in Loudoun County, the debate continues about the appropriateness of the Nativity displayed at the courthouse, something that has been done for many, many years. This year the Baccalaureate at a local HS had only 22 students participate out of a class of over 550! The message they get is God isn't valued outside of their church.
I think ministry with youth requires ministry with parents too. Parents are the most important spiritual mentors in a youth/teenagers life, but I bet few parents realize it or feel prepared for this role. I think addressing youth/teenagers faith
without addressing parents' faith doesn't make any sense. Maybe parents need to be surveyed on what faith means to them or what they hope their youth/teen will get out of youth group , socially and spiritually. Better yet, what a great group session/sessions to have, an open safe forum for parents and youth separately then possibly together to talk about God and faith. I think our kids need to see their parents as grown ups with faith, willing to embrace the views and questions of our youth/teens where ever they are on their spiritual journey.
Let's face it, faith formation has to be intentional. I read something once about kids and religion that made so much sense to me. It went something like this: Often parents say they want to "expose" their kids to religion. They are going to let them choose for themselves. That's naive. Teaching isn't indoctrination or coercion. It is intentionally passing on something that matters. We need to talk about it, model it and construct opportunities to practice it. We don't just expose our kids to things that matter. Can you imagine the disaster we'd have if we simply "exposed" teenagers to driving? We teach them to drive because driving well matters. Why are we more concerned about teaching teenagers to drive than teaching them about Jesus?
How do we get our youth to unplug from their life of facebook, twitter and TV land of The Real Life of .....(you fill in the blanks) to hear God's voice?
It takes a village or at least a congregation to engage and support youth and teens. The adults in a congregation need to understand the value of what they, as adults , have to offer . It can be a skill, a listening ear, a mentoring role, and/or taking an interest in the spiritual growth of the youth and respecting their level of faith that is appropriate for their age and maturity. The youth/teens need to feel valued and part of, not apart from the congregation.
Rob Bell, writes in his book,Velvet Elvis, "The writers of the Bible are communicating in language their world will understand". That is what we need to do for our youth...communicate the language of the Bible in a way that they will understand. They will get the "message" and will then be able to see God is alive and working in their lives. They need to know that the Bible tells a story and the story isn't over. The story is ongoing and they have a part in it.
The Youth are the leaders of tomorrow both in the churches and in the world. I pray that they are encouraged, inspired and empowered by their growing love of God.
Namaste,
Maureen
I continually have thoughts about Youth Ministry, programing ideas and God has given me this vision, a sort of a music video that plays out in my mind, of youth worship in a space they created in this tiny room at my church, with an altar that was built together, with a very talented woodworking gifted parishioner I know. Oh, and the kids have painted this room with a mural of their design. The music and liturgy they create is God inspired and inviting. As God's music video plays out, I see an intergenerational exchange: adults, seniors, younger children, and people from their ministry work sharing this prayer time and Eucharist with them. There are no boundaries, they have built relationships within our community and beyond, in the shelters, seniors centers and with the lonely and struggling peers they see each day at school and in their neighborhoods. They are there with their best friend and with the person who removed them from friend status on face book. In addition, the youth fully engage in what they refer to as the "too traditional, not welcoming 10:45 traditional service". In this vision, there is a sense of real belonging in a faith community, young and old alike, embracing liturgy, one another's differences and uniqueness. I believe this can happen.
I woke this morning about 4:30am thinking about youth. I thought about an awesome young lady at my church who will begin and lead a HS Bible study this fall, (totally her idea BTW). I thought of the college freshman who is leaving this week, remembering to check my facebook messages to see if she has responded to getting together before she leaves. I thought about my daughter who has been so moved by her experience in Young Life in HS and a mission trip she took to Jamaica. I thought about my youngest son who patiently sits and listens to me practice my sermon, when I have the privilege to preach.He asks me questions. Good hard questions. I thought of his service project for his HS this year; clothing and food drives for the needy in our county,(I don't think they know they all are living, breathing disciples). I am thankful that my children expect me to pray before we eat whether we are dining at a crowded mall, a local restaurant, or our table at home with one another and friends. I woke to thinking about youth in general, my kids, the kids in my neighborhood and everywhere. Have I done enough? Am I doing enough?
How can kids develop faith that impacts their lives when our world in general seems to have the opinion where church and God are less and less revelant. Locally, here in Loudoun County, the debate continues about the appropriateness of the Nativity displayed at the courthouse, something that has been done for many, many years. This year the Baccalaureate at a local HS had only 22 students participate out of a class of over 550! The message they get is God isn't valued outside of their church.
I think ministry with youth requires ministry with parents too. Parents are the most important spiritual mentors in a youth/teenagers life, but I bet few parents realize it or feel prepared for this role. I think addressing youth/teenagers faith
without addressing parents' faith doesn't make any sense. Maybe parents need to be surveyed on what faith means to them or what they hope their youth/teen will get out of youth group , socially and spiritually. Better yet, what a great group session/sessions to have, an open safe forum for parents and youth separately then possibly together to talk about God and faith. I think our kids need to see their parents as grown ups with faith, willing to embrace the views and questions of our youth/teens where ever they are on their spiritual journey.
Let's face it, faith formation has to be intentional. I read something once about kids and religion that made so much sense to me. It went something like this: Often parents say they want to "expose" their kids to religion. They are going to let them choose for themselves. That's naive. Teaching isn't indoctrination or coercion. It is intentionally passing on something that matters. We need to talk about it, model it and construct opportunities to practice it. We don't just expose our kids to things that matter. Can you imagine the disaster we'd have if we simply "exposed" teenagers to driving? We teach them to drive because driving well matters. Why are we more concerned about teaching teenagers to drive than teaching them about Jesus?
How do we get our youth to unplug from their life of facebook, twitter and TV land of The Real Life of .....(you fill in the blanks) to hear God's voice?
It takes a village or at least a congregation to engage and support youth and teens. The adults in a congregation need to understand the value of what they, as adults , have to offer . It can be a skill, a listening ear, a mentoring role, and/or taking an interest in the spiritual growth of the youth and respecting their level of faith that is appropriate for their age and maturity. The youth/teens need to feel valued and part of, not apart from the congregation.
Rob Bell, writes in his book,Velvet Elvis, "The writers of the Bible are communicating in language their world will understand". That is what we need to do for our youth...communicate the language of the Bible in a way that they will understand. They will get the "message" and will then be able to see God is alive and working in their lives. They need to know that the Bible tells a story and the story isn't over. The story is ongoing and they have a part in it.
The Youth are the leaders of tomorrow both in the churches and in the world. I pray that they are encouraged, inspired and empowered by their growing love of God.
Namaste,
Maureen
Friday, August 13, 2010
Letting Go
Letting go.
My oldest son, left for school for another year. He and his dad are driving to Arizona. I am so thankful that they have this time together. 36 hours of driving can lend itself to wonderful conversations and just being together. It is a long drive. Together as a family we have driven cross country. The changing landscapes are breathtaking. There is beauty everywhere , even all the way across Texas!
My feelings are conflicted. This is a bittersweet time. Of course, I am so happy that he has found a school that he loves and is thriving at. It was time for him to go, yet I wanted to have more time . A summer redo would be nice. Not realistic, but nice. This was a hard summer for us. He will be 22 this month. A young man.
My job is done in a way. He is his own person with his own thoughts, hopes , dreams, joys and difficulties. God created him and knew him before I did, entrusting his dad and I with his life. Have we measured up and served God well?
The letting go is hard because there are things/parenting moments I wish I did better. I wish I did different. Each joy, each moment, each struggle has been done with a love that only a mother knows. It hasn't always been a soft nurturing easy love. There have been tough love moments too. Tougher than I ever could have imagined. We are working on coming full circle. "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Corinthians 13:7
In the book The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran writes:
"And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you, and though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them you love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
I love my son. It is time to let go, continue to be that steady loving parent and let him become the man God has intended him to be.
Namaste,
Maureen
My oldest son, left for school for another year. He and his dad are driving to Arizona. I am so thankful that they have this time together. 36 hours of driving can lend itself to wonderful conversations and just being together. It is a long drive. Together as a family we have driven cross country. The changing landscapes are breathtaking. There is beauty everywhere , even all the way across Texas!
My feelings are conflicted. This is a bittersweet time. Of course, I am so happy that he has found a school that he loves and is thriving at. It was time for him to go, yet I wanted to have more time . A summer redo would be nice. Not realistic, but nice. This was a hard summer for us. He will be 22 this month. A young man.
My job is done in a way. He is his own person with his own thoughts, hopes , dreams, joys and difficulties. God created him and knew him before I did, entrusting his dad and I with his life. Have we measured up and served God well?
The letting go is hard because there are things/parenting moments I wish I did better. I wish I did different. Each joy, each moment, each struggle has been done with a love that only a mother knows. It hasn't always been a soft nurturing easy love. There have been tough love moments too. Tougher than I ever could have imagined. We are working on coming full circle. "Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Corinthians 13:7
In the book The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran writes:
"And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you, and though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them you love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."
I love my son. It is time to let go, continue to be that steady loving parent and let him become the man God has intended him to be.
Namaste,
Maureen
Monday, August 2, 2010
God Has Rocked My World
When we hear God's call we respond not because we are ready but simply because He has called.
True.
God's call. I ran from it, tried to ignore it, tried to negotiate with God: "You are asking what?","I'm not ready. My family isn't ready, please let's talk about this another time", oh... and the conversation, "You must mean a different Maureen", "I am inadequate to do this". Well, God is persistent. Underlying my denial was this knowing that yes Lord,I have heard you calling in the night. I have heard you each week as the Eucharist is celebrated. I have heard you as I watch and welcome the newly baptized into our community. I have heard you as I walked the journey with my dying friend.I heard you so long ago when I was in grade school, "Follow me".
God has rocked my world.
In the past six years I have gone from stay at home mom with my own practice, working when I wanted with a quiet prayer life to a full time working mom who has listened to God's voice, closed my practice, taken a full time job at the church that pays much less than what I was making, attended a discernment retreat, went through the process of a formal discernment committee that reached consensus for me to move forward. I have had opportunities to preach, Paten,set the table,write call and response liturgy,serve my community, meet monthly with my spiritual director and develop a deeper prayer life.
God has rocked my world.
I thank him everyday for doing so. I thank Him for loving me and trusting me to answer His call. I thank Him for our close relationship so when He asks something out of the ordinary, it is His voice, the voice of a friend who I know and trust, who walks with me.
Yes, God has rocked my world and I have totally rocked the world of my family.
I don't know who this has been hardest on. My children? My husband? Me? This has affected us all in very different ways. My journey has become their journey. No one wanted to believe that at first, not even me. The conversations haven't occurred over coffee at Starbucks or Sunday family dinners. The conversations have occurred over years. Some have been very, very hard. There have been tears and wonderful revelations for all of us. My husband said for a long time that I had changed. I would say,I haven't changed, I am the same me". You know, during one of our conversations I apologized and said, "You are right.I have changed.Having a relationship with God changes you. I am called to be a child of God. I am called to be a wife and mother. I am called to a vocation in ministry".
Following my call has proven to be life-altering. I sometimes try to make sense of the life that has been "given" to me after saying "yes". It has been disrupting to my marriage, confusing to my children and some friends. BUT there are no words to describe the joy of stepping forward in faith and walking with God.
My faith has grown in strength and depth as I nourish my relationship with God. It is my faith that allows me to survive the dark times of my inner and outer turmoil.
I have felt inadequate for the job God is asking me to do. I think it is natural for me to feel this way. I am inadequate all by myself, but God is not asking me to do this alone. I have to look beyond myself to the faithful followers before me. Those in my community, my mentors and in scripture.
Sunday's reading Hebrew's 11: 1-16 is all about faith. The great leaders of faith Abraham and Sarah, Noah, Abel and Enoch. They lived lives of faith. They trusted God.
I want to live a life of faith with my love for God and reverence for His Word. I hope God will use me as an instrument in His hands to help others and as He continues to rock my world (and He will!) I will always have the trust and faith to say "yes".
Namaste,
Maureen
True.
God's call. I ran from it, tried to ignore it, tried to negotiate with God: "You are asking what?","I'm not ready. My family isn't ready, please let's talk about this another time", oh... and the conversation, "You must mean a different Maureen", "I am inadequate to do this". Well, God is persistent. Underlying my denial was this knowing that yes Lord,I have heard you calling in the night. I have heard you each week as the Eucharist is celebrated. I have heard you as I watch and welcome the newly baptized into our community. I have heard you as I walked the journey with my dying friend.I heard you so long ago when I was in grade school, "Follow me".
God has rocked my world.
In the past six years I have gone from stay at home mom with my own practice, working when I wanted with a quiet prayer life to a full time working mom who has listened to God's voice, closed my practice, taken a full time job at the church that pays much less than what I was making, attended a discernment retreat, went through the process of a formal discernment committee that reached consensus for me to move forward. I have had opportunities to preach, Paten,set the table,write call and response liturgy,serve my community, meet monthly with my spiritual director and develop a deeper prayer life.
God has rocked my world.
I thank him everyday for doing so. I thank Him for loving me and trusting me to answer His call. I thank Him for our close relationship so when He asks something out of the ordinary, it is His voice, the voice of a friend who I know and trust, who walks with me.
Yes, God has rocked my world and I have totally rocked the world of my family.
I don't know who this has been hardest on. My children? My husband? Me? This has affected us all in very different ways. My journey has become their journey. No one wanted to believe that at first, not even me. The conversations haven't occurred over coffee at Starbucks or Sunday family dinners. The conversations have occurred over years. Some have been very, very hard. There have been tears and wonderful revelations for all of us. My husband said for a long time that I had changed. I would say,I haven't changed, I am the same me". You know, during one of our conversations I apologized and said, "You are right.I have changed.Having a relationship with God changes you. I am called to be a child of God. I am called to be a wife and mother. I am called to a vocation in ministry".
Following my call has proven to be life-altering. I sometimes try to make sense of the life that has been "given" to me after saying "yes". It has been disrupting to my marriage, confusing to my children and some friends. BUT there are no words to describe the joy of stepping forward in faith and walking with God.
My faith has grown in strength and depth as I nourish my relationship with God. It is my faith that allows me to survive the dark times of my inner and outer turmoil.
I have felt inadequate for the job God is asking me to do. I think it is natural for me to feel this way. I am inadequate all by myself, but God is not asking me to do this alone. I have to look beyond myself to the faithful followers before me. Those in my community, my mentors and in scripture.
Sunday's reading Hebrew's 11: 1-16 is all about faith. The great leaders of faith Abraham and Sarah, Noah, Abel and Enoch. They lived lives of faith. They trusted God.
I want to live a life of faith with my love for God and reverence for His Word. I hope God will use me as an instrument in His hands to help others and as He continues to rock my world (and He will!) I will always have the trust and faith to say "yes".
Namaste,
Maureen
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