Being Present

It has been quite awhile since I have written. The past months have been busy with getting my youngest off to college, John and I adjusting to having our three children in college, working on the Restoring Eden Garden Project at St. David's, work and losing our beloved dog Max. In the midst of all of this, somehow God called out to me, telling me to be present to each moment. I'm glad he did.

Being present had me slow down to take it all in. Slowing down for me meant I was going to intentionally be present to God, to my family and to those around me. Slowing down enabled me to discover God's presence across my existence, in my life, in the life of my family, my work, in the garden, on my walks, in the quiet of each day and as Max took his last breath in my arms.  The voice of His love has whispered to me, reminding me that He is present in all things.  I am learning that I am responsible for the extent that I will be present to God.

"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you" James 4:8

I choose. We all choose. When we choose we draw the focus of our minds and hearts upon Him and we will find His presence in that moment. That is amazing, holy and sacred and available to everyone who invites God in. 

Am I present to God all the time? in every moment? Am I present to my family, friends and work all the time? in every moment?  I wish I was. I want to be. I think having the desire for that communion pleases God. 

I invite you slow down and be present to the loving whispers God will place on your heart.

Namaste'
Maureen

Witness Outside Walmart

"Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these

who are members of my family, you did it to me."

                                                                              Matthew 25:40

 

A few months ago I read one of those life changing books. Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski is an amazing journey of faith. Mike Yankoski decided to embark on his journey after being challenged by his pastor during a sermon to “be the Christian you say you are.” He was joined in the project by Sam Purvis and these friends lived on the streets of cities across the country for half of a year. Mike and Sam experienced the discomforts of not knowing where they would sleep, and of not knowing what they would eat. Frequently hungry, they learned to trust God to provide.

As I was reading I knew this book was having an impact on me. This book informed and engaged me. The most disturbing part of this book for me, was the frequency with which faith communities and people who profess their faith as Christians ignore, reject, and even persecute the homeless in their own church yards and neighborhoods. It made my heart ache. Would that be me? My faith community? My family?

It was me. It was Christians I knew.

Back in April I was having dinner at a restaurant with fellow chaplain interns. We talked about our goals, dreams and God's call on our lives. After dinner we were were walking to our cars and  I noticed a homeless man asking for money. I knew I didn't have any cash and I felt badly. Do I get money? I looked for a bank but didn't see any. My instinct was to take the yummy dinner left overs that one of my colleagues had and give it to the homeless man. I didn't. My mind swarmed with thoughts of " Look at us, we are chaplains and we are doing nothing", we kept walking, "Am I the only one who sees this?" Though I saw this , I did nothing and in my mind as I drove home that evening I heard over and over:

"Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these

who are members of my family, you did it to me."

I knew this evening affected me. I let myself down and I knew I let God down. I could feel it.  I promised myself and God that I would be more aware, more tolerant and help when I was able. I would live my faith more intentionally. You know "live the gospel" that we often think we are  really doing. But are we?

FAST FORWARD.

Last week I was witness to neighbor helping neighbor - the gospel in action.  The caring that was passed on took my breath away. So much so, that it has taken me time to write about it.

I stopped on my way home from work to pick up a few things at Walmart. I do not frequent this way home often because of the downtown Leesburg traffic at this hour. I ran in for fishing wire and came out with some groceries I really didn't need but since I was there I picked up a few items. As I was driving out of the parking lot, there on the corner was a family holding a sign that said "Homeless, Traveling and Hungry. " They were hot, hungry and thirsty.  Remember the heat last week? 99, 100, 102! The light changed to red and I was stopped.  I rolled down my window and handed the man what groceries I had, cheese string, mac and cheese, bagels, some Gatorade. I apologized that  I didn't have more. The man was so thankful and as the two small children dove into the bagel bag and began eating , it was clear that they were very, very hungry. While this was happening the car behind me was honking their horn repeatedly (I suppose the light turned green ), the man thanked me and as we turned from each other there were two additional cars that had stopped. One woman was carrying water bottles and fruit and another with a bag of food.  No words were exchanged between the family in need, myself or the two additional angels who stopped and provided food and water. Our eyes scanned and met one another. The only words spoken where from the man and his family who asked God to bless us. I got in my car and left.

Bless us? I wonder if he had any idea how the interaction with him and his family was a blessing to us?

I cried on my way home that night knowing that God was in that moment in many ways and I am thankful. I am thankful to the two woman who stopped and provided for this family, letting God's spirit lead.  I am thankful for the car behind me that honked their horn and was a captive witness to the gospel in action. I am thankful that God trusted us to be the incarnational presence that was needed that day in Leesburg.

I pray that this family will be safe and they will experience loving thy neighbor as Jesus loves us, over and over.

Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori writes in her book, The Heartbeat of God , that

"God gives us a new heart to do his work and every time we gather to do it, God offers a pacemaker jolt to tweak our hearts rhythm." The challenge is this: Will our heart respond with a strengthened beat, in tune with God's own heartbeat, sending more life out into the world?"

With God's grace/jolt I know mine will and this is my prayer for the angels who stopped, the person who was was honking their horn and for everyone who reads this.

Namaste'
Maureen

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Sacred Quiet Ordinary Time

Happy Ordinary Time!

Now that I have entered into the new season of Ordinary Time of the liturgal

year, I am embracing this long stretch of sacred quiet rhythm . I am taking this

time to pause, to free my body, mind and spirit from the business, to rest,

and to reflect on the seeds that have been gathered and planted in me

during the seasons of Advent, Christmas, Lent , Easter and Pentecost this

past year. God is working and stirring things up as only God can.

I am finding that it is different each year. A friend of mine once shared

with me something her spiritual director told her,

" go deeper into the mystery of God's love".

That is exactly what this liturgal year has blessed me with...seeds planted

deep in my soul that are taking root in the mansions of my soul,

as Theresa of Avalia writes.

This quiet time, this ordinary time, is an gift from God for me to listen

in the quiet and to connect with nature and make time for centering

prayer every day in the cool breeze of these summer evenings in my

back yard as the sun sets each day. This is where God calls me to sit

with her. And in time, I will know what seeds God wants me to grow.

" Be still and know that I am God."

                                      Psalm 46:10

FOR HOLLY

The voice of the deacon listens
             and God is well pleased.

The voice in the heart of the deacon holds:
              God's peace
              God's love
              God's compassion
              God's mercy
      and pours living water into the Body of Christ:
              the lonely
              the needy
              the homeless
              the forgotten
              the broken
              the community

The voice of the deacon is the
              touch of the shepherd
              always guiding
              always nurturing
              always loving

The voice of the deacon is the incarnational presence in the world
                                                                                  .........in action.

I wrote this for my friend Holly who is in her field placement in the deaconate. With God's grace, she will be ordained in February of 2013. I have learend so much from my wise, spiritual friend.  Someone once said, "Holly is a living icon of service". She is a blessing to me and especially to those she ministers to.

Ascension Day

Words from Jesus on the Ascension

When I go, know that I live on
in the realm of the universe and the depths of your heart,
behind a thin veil you cannot see through, yet it is always present.

Have faith.
You will see me.
You will see me in others as I see myself in you.

Go forth and make disciples.
Love them.
Teach them.
Baptize them.

Take refuge under my wings,
my angels have charge over you, to keep you in all your ways,
as I wait for the time when we soar together again
both aware of each other bound in love.

Until then, live your life to its fullest.
Oh, the plans I have for you,
See the spirit.
Be the spirit

Be that outward sign of my grace,
A sacrament.
You are holy.

Whisper my name in your heart .
And remember: I am with you always, to the end of the age.. Amen.

Lent 2012: Transition

I had my Lent observance all planned out.

I was going to have intentional quiet in my life. I was going to take the time to be still. Even in working or taking care of my family, I had a plan. I would continue, to wake early and rest in the quiet of the darkness, read my devotional, pray...this has become a special way to begin my day. Oh and I had Lenten devotional books near what I call "my prayer chair" in my sunroom, even one or two tucked into my purse. I was looking forward to this immersion, Lent in this way, the big exhale of "Here I am" to rest in your precence Lord. I pictured myself cocooning into this rhythm.

Well, Lent has been anything but quiet for me. I have an internal restlessness that I have amplified on my own because I say to myself, "Maureen, you are messing Lent up! Be still! Get focused! Read your devotionals!". Oh... forget about any type of fasting, it is girl scout cookie season after all! I have been very aware that something is going on with me for quite some time, yet I didn't want to embrace it, because Lent isn't really about me right?

What I am realizing is I am holding on to everything that has been comfortable and familiar. The sand is shifting.

For now, my prayer time in the morning has moved to my new prayer chair, the car. As I drive to and from work or the hospital, I now have a new quiet as I talk out loud to God. Oh, and the pile of Lenten books....they are still piled on my table in the sunroom and I haven't touched them. What I am doing is letting the spirit move me, I am exploring Ignatius prayer and embracing centering prayer again...differently. Instead of a word I am using the image of my head resting on the lap of Jesus, which a freind had shared with me. When I heard that I instantly could see and feel Jesus caring for me. Letting me rest all that I am on him. This images blesses me with the calm , peace and rest that I need and that awakens presence within me; with a love that consumes me and comforts me.I hear, "Come to me, you who are weary".

I was trying so hard to create what I thought Lent should be for me, that I was missing Jesus in the midst of all of this. When I stared to open my hands a bit more, my resistence is unfolding to open hands being led to what God needs me to do.

How can I let Jesus lead me if I am holding on so tightly? So my Lent with Jesus is a period of transition for me.

Transition.

Transition is, "The act of passing from one state or place to the next," or "an event that results in a transformation." I am certain of one thing. Transition does not allow you to stay in the same place. You can fight it all you want, but it will let you know, "I am here," and until you transition to the expected state, you and I will be miserable.

My unsettled nature right now doesn't want to miss God in this time. Will my fear of the unknown blow it for me? Am I really trusting God like I say I do? I believe it is worth the risk to go for it with God and not be afraid of the transition because God's transitions always leads to transformation.All He is asking is for us is to believe Him when He says, "

I know the plans I have for you says the Lord,plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you a hope and an expected end. " (Jeremiah 29:11)

Anne Lamont writets in her book Traveling Mercies: "Buddists believe when a lot of things start to go wrong all at once, it is to protect something big and lovely that is trying to get itself born - and that this something needs for you to be distracted so that it can be born as perfectly as possible."

So,I am embracing my Lent...my time of transition....my birthing to "Here I am Lord" and I do trust in the plans you have for me.

My Lenten Prayer is:

Loving God, thank you for loving me, for choosing me.
I accept all that I am and all that you envision for me.
I embrace your will with open hands to serve in the ways you have called me and molded me.
Walk with me out to the horizon of limitless possibilities,
beyond fear
beyond security
beyond my comfort zone
Take me to the exquisite edge of courage and faith
release me to become.
"Let it be to me according to your word."

Namaste'
Maureen