26 years

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; "it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1 Corinthians 13: 4-6 (NRSV)

Today my husband, John and I , celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. 26 years! As I think back to that day, there are so many details that I still recall. We began our life together as husband and wife. We began building a life together that continues today.

I met John through our dear friend Dave. Dave and I were lab partners. John and Dave were best friends. To make a long story short, I was dating Dave and well , you can guess how the rest of the story goes....

We were hard working college students. John graduated a year ahead, I was on the 5 year plan and Dave was working on his Masters. We all planned a double date in NYC to meet one another. We saw the show "Nine" and met for drinks at "Windows of the World" at the top the World Trade Center. It was a fun magical evening. I recall John walking into the Window of the World and this voice inside of me saying, "You are going to marry him". Well, my logical, liberated side, said, " Please....Maureen , you don't even REALLY know this guy, he HAS a girl friend, etc. etc. " Well...that night I pondered for along time. That guy, seemed so cool, so sensitive, so articulate, so respectful, so gentle,so smart, so amazing and yes...so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. So....this voice in my head, I tried to block out. I told myself to breathe and trust in the possibilities.

We married at age 24. We were young, naive and filled with hopes and dreams for our life together.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran

Our life together has not been hard but it has not always been easy.

We were married for 5 years before we had children. We worked, played and grew together yet separately. Three children in 5 years. We continued to play and grow together yet separately. John worked I was able to stay home with our children. A blessing indeed. I loved being a stay at home mom. I smile as I write that. You see I insisted that I was going to be a career woman,juggling daycare, marriage and career. Well, I melted when I held our first born and was hooked. John supported my decision, with what I now feel was a WHEW and an OH BOY! We both were raised with moms at home when we were young ,so it sounded like the natural thing to do but it didn't seem natural to me. That is not until I experienced bringing life into this world. A gift from God indeed. John wanted me to be happy and if working would make me happy, he was all for it. Deciding to stay at home meant living on one income. Very difficult, at times. John traveled alot both in the US and abroad. We didn't have alot of money and we were not the best stewards of our resources at the time. Our young love made everything seem possible. We moved together well. We created a rhythm to our life that was easy and loving; valuing our independence,respecting one another's independence, our uniqueness, our oneness and our differences.

"Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music."
Kahlil Gibran

As I write this my heart smiles. You know that, the "garage door lifting sound signaling.....he's home sound". Joy in my heart! I often think of this and the qualities about John that I cherish in the joyous moments and when challenges and transitions of our life bring us into uncharted territory.

It is only natural that in marriage , there will be uncharted territory as one grows and matures. Life happens...raising children, work travel, miscarriages, extended family drama, a cancer diagnosis,trauma, graduations,college tuition payments, aging parents...life happens. Oh.... and then throw in a deepening spirituality, and BTW honey, I have this calling. A calling from God to be a priest...talk about uncharted territory.....something neither one of us could have imagined or dreamed of 26 years ago. We continue to grow and mature together and separately. I have faith, I have hope, I have trust and I work on not letting this separate growth hurt this sacred union.I know God has re-entered my life in a most amazing way and that can only bless my marriage. I love my husband. He is a good man, a loving father and husband. At 24 I know I didn't use the words sacred union or feel the depth of that meaning. Over the years I have come to treasure the sacrament of my marriage.

"A sacrament is an outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace" BCP pg.857

This grace in our lives has grown out of a mutual respect that continues to evolve into a continuing transformation of two different people, who love one another and will honor the differences, challenges, and joys that life gives us.

So, on this special day I honor my husband for the 26 years that he has blessed me with.

You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
And, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Kahlil Gibran

Namaste,
Maureen