Good-bye Lorraine

"At sorrows end our eyes will be opened; we shall see clearly that the light shines with fullness; for this light is our God." Julian of Norwich

Ever since I was a child I loved seeing the sky this way. My grandmother once told me."It is God, Maureen". I always loved to think about that. To me it is heaven opening up to us here on earth. A small, small glimpse to the beauty of what lies ahead for all of us.

On Wednesday, September 22nd everywhere I turned and looked up this is what I saw. Driving into work, mid-afternoon, after work. Heaven did open up and extend it's arms on Wednesday. God's presence was within and all around. My sweet friend Lorraine was called home.

I will miss her but I am so thankful she is out of pain. I rejoice that she is with God and all her questions are answered. Still, I will miss her. I will miss her humor, her stories, her spirit, sharing the Eucharist, her prayers and her support of my journey.

You see, I asked Lorraine to be part of my discernment committee. After much prayer and discussion she declined due to her health. She spend quite sometime discussing this with her spiritual director. How cool is that?....a spiritual director at 82! That is just a glimpse into this amazing woman. She was not an "official" discernment committee member but we discerned together. Discussions, that I will always treasure.

Lorraine not only became a friend but a spiritual partner. We talked about God and His calling us all to do His work, we talked about family, we talked about our children, we shared books, we shared our journeling and we shared talks about her death...an honor indeed.

Lorraine did not fear death. She became ready and welcomed God's embrace to carry her to life eternal. Her pain was great. Her faith that God was with her was even greater.

As I sat with Lorraine in the days leading up to her death, when alert,she would talk about "the suite that God was preparing for her". At one point she asked me if I would go with her. I shared with her that God was not ready for me yet but when He was, would she come for me and help me on my journey? She said,"yes".

There was one afternoon that she said, "You know I will not be here to see you be ordained a priest". I told her I knew that. We squeezed hands and at that moment she asked me if I would bless her. My Catholic-ness creeped up saying to me, "You can't do this, Breathe, Maureen. Breathe." I recall saying to myself.

In this sacred moment, in this sacred place, with the grace of God, I blessed my friend. I can't recall what I said but God me gave me the words. Our eyes met after I blessed her. I told her I would miss her and that I was so, so blessed to have known her. I kissed her hand and forehead.

She asked me to stay , pray and read to her. I stayed for sometime after that reading to her some of our favorite psalms, prayers from Julian of Norwich and Hildagard both her favorites. This were the last words we shared.

During this time I could profoundly feel the sacredness and holiness of our time together and the space around her. I believe providing presence to her--as the Mitzvah describes, we become the Incarnational Presence at the bedside.

I knew that was our good-bye.

Over the next two days Lorraine let go of her self and grew into pure spirit.

You did it well, my friend. Your journey was faithful, peaceful and holy.

Grief.

Barbara Brown Taylor writes, " One sure way to avoid grief is to not care. But
we do care. Our nature is geared for relationship. So we celebrate all our
relationships and risk grief when any kind of relationship ends. But we are
richer because of that relationship."

Amen. Amen.

Good-bye my friend and thank you for trusting me to share in your life and in your death. You have blessed me.