Doubting Thomas

One of the disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he replied, "I won't believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side." Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. He said, "Peace be with you." Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don't be faithless any longer. Believe!" "My Lord and my God!" Thomas exclaimed. Then Jesus told him, "You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those haven't seen me and believe anyway." John 20: 24-29

Doubting Thomas." If you look up this phrase in the dictionary, you'll find something like: "one who habitually or instinctively doubts or questions." A "doubting Thomas" is somebody who always lags behind in matters of faith. A "doubting Thomas" always needs more proof, more time. A "doubting Thomas" has a hard time trusting others.

I personally think Thomas gets a bad rap. I mean, how would you like it if your name went down in history attached to "doubting"? How would it feel to know that every time someone uses your name it had a negative connotation? Growing up, that is how I recall learning about Thomas...Doubting Thomas. This always made me think that Thomas was a coward.He is not a coward at all.

Thomas was willing to be honest even when it wasn't pretty, even when others were not quite so truthful. Thomas gives us the freedom to be more honest with our own faith , or lack of it. I think we all need to be more like Thomas, not by doubting more but by being honest with God and each other.

Do you connect with Thomas?

I do.

I wish I had more of Thomnas in me.

Maybe you connect with Thomas because, like him, you don't believe Jesus or you are having a crisis of faith...Or you've heard your friends and family members tell you how great it is to be a Christian....You hear great sermons talk about God's love in Christ, but you're still not sure. After all, how can this really be relevant in you life now. So you can relate to Thomas as one who stands on the outside of faith, peering in.

I wonder what I would have done if I were in Thomas' shoes. I'm not sure. Would I have been able to accept the testimony of the other disciples. I ask myself how many times have I doubted my faith even when those around me have guided me with theirs?

The wonderful thing about God is that he can handle it. Imgaine that. God can handle our doubts and he will meet us there, giving enough faith to take that step. Sometimes we wait....and we wait. We wait for the courage to step out in faith or we wait because God has us wait.

Jesus chose to let Thomas wait. He didn't show up right away to relieve Thomas's fears. We don't know why. We don't know what needed to happen in Thomas before Jesus appeared to him. All we know is that Jesus made him wait. Boy, that sound familiar. Things really do happen in God's timing and when we can honeslty look back, it is a comfort to say, "of course, this is how it is suppose to be.

I have had times in my life where I have waited. For days, honestly for years, I cried out to God for help. And for days God was silent. For days I begged to see God. And for days the eyes of my heart were blind. It was one of the most desperate, terrifying, and empty times of my entire life. And God seemed to have abandoned me during that time, my "eight days" of waiting, if you will. Of course God really didn't abandon me. I abandoned my trust I God, in God's promise...just like Thomas.

I don't know what God was doing with Thomas during his eight days of wiating, but when I wait during my periods in the desert and doubt, God has broken my pride and set me free from my self-reliance. During my waiting God has prepared me for something and teaching me that I could not do it alone.

Jesus meets Thomas where he is. Jesus gently and mercifully offers Thomas exactly what he had wanted. Jesus met Thomas right where he was. He offered himself to Thomas: "Here, touch me, and believe."

This is what He does for me. This is what He does for all of us...if we let Him. In His time and in His way, Jesus comes to us and makes himself known to us. Sometimes he does it in the way we have wanted. Sometimes he doesn't. But he always gives us exactly what we really need. And it comes, not because we've earned it, but by grace and because he loves us unconditionally.

I love when Thomas said, "My Lord and my God!" This makes him the first person in the gospels, to confess Jesus not only as Lord, but also as God. Doubting Thomas? No. Bold Thomas, yes! Faithful Believing Thomas, yes!

I think this is where honesty with God leads. This is the outcome of an open confession of doubt. This is not pretend faith. It's a genuine faith that issues from the deepest recesses of our soul. It's a faith that transforms our lives. It's the sort of faith that I want and it is the faith that grows when we say yes to God.

Jesus finishes his encounter with Thomas: "You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who haven't seen me and believe anyway." This is a word of encouragement for you and me, because we don't get to see Jesus and we believe and in this we are blessed. God has chosen to pour out his goodness upon us, to be gracious to us, to reveal his Son to us.

I am thankful to Thomas for doubting and exploring his doubts with Jesus.

I think there is a Thomas is all of us.

Namaste',

Maureen