Today is Thanksgiving.
Today I thank God for the abundance of blessings in my life. I will also thank God for the things in my life that don't seem or feel like a blessing. I am learning that "a grateful heart is most precious to God when, humanly speaking, our situations don't warrant giving thanks." Reading that recently, reminded me that I do need to thank God for the joys, dissapointments and heart aches; always trusting in and accepting in thanksgiving, God's plan. Thankgiving doesn't always have to be that kick your heels off, woo-hoo I am thankful. Thanksgiving in acceptance of a situation as coming from God—either directly sent or permissively allowed is humble thanksgiving. If I truly believe He's working for my good (Rom 8:28-29), I can choose to receive each difficulty as coming from His loving hand. Then I can truely say thank you.
I have been having a particular hard time lately and I don't like it. I am deeply sad and hurt over a situation that I cannot change, nor can I talk with the person who has hurt me. I don't completely understand the depth of my sadnesss but what I do know is because of the situation I can't cross this boundary. I think this is what God is asking of me here.... a lesson in being humble. It is hard and I find myself saying, "This really sucks God but I think I know what you are doing and I must bow my head and let You work in me. Still sucks , just so you know ." I know I do not have the ability within myself to endure hardships with gratefulness. I need to rely on God so I can go through through this and futue adversities with an appreciative heart. That is where I want to be, but honestly I am so not 100% there, yet I remain thankful that God is working in me.
There is a prayer of General Thanksgiving in the Book of Common Prayer that I love. When I lead morning prayer it is the one that I always choose. I often open my prayer book to this prayer for no particular reason. I just like it. I will pray this with my family today as we share our Thanksgiving meal. I recently learned that the person who wrote this, wrote it after his 4 year old was tragically killed. I don't know this person but I think that he was packed with the power of the Holy Spirit that worked for him and through him guiding him with this prayer of humble, real thanskgiving.
Accept, O Lord, our thanks and praise for all that you have
done for us. We thank you for the splendor of the whole
creation, for the beauty of this world, for the wonder of life,
and for the mystery of love.
We thank you for the blessing of family and friends, and for
the loving care which surrounds us on every side.
We thank you for setting us at tasks which demand our best
efforts, and for leading us to accomplishments which satisfy
and delight us.
We thank you also for those disappointments and failures
that lead us to acknowledge our dependence on you alone.
Above all, we thank you for your Son Jesus Christ; for the
truth of his Word and the example of his life; for his steadfast
obedience, by which he overcame temptation; for his dying,
through which he overcame death; and for his rising to life
again, in which we are raised to the life of your kingdom.
Grant us the gift of your Spirit, that we may know him and
make him known; and through him, at all times and in all
places, may give thanks to you in all things. Amen.
Book of Common Prayer pg 836
So, I think that the message for my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving, is:
Yes ,I am thankful for all the blessings in my life and I accept any situation as coming from God. With a proper attitide, thaksgiving can overflow into my life no matter what happens because God loves me, guides me and wants the best for me. I need to pray, pray without ceasing through my circumstances and to have a listening heart to hear God's message to me. I need to have complete trust and faith to place myself under His loving wisdom and draw from the strength I need to endure the joys and difficulties in my life with gratitude.
Namaste'
Maureen
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Spiritual Midwives
My best friend is a nurse-midwife.
I have had the honor of being present at a few births with her as an observer and as a birth Doula. The love, care, nurturing and support I have witnessed my friend provide to her patients is inspiring, loving and spiritual. Watching the miracle of life coming into the world is well,a miracle...a profound mystical joining of this precious being to all of creation. Watching my friend help bring life into this world in a gentle, nurturing, present,wise,compassionate way,is a not only a miracle but a blessing to those she cares for.
Midwives understand the process of giving birth. They understand that it takes time and that it’s going to hurt. There are certain things we can do to hang on through the pain, but that there’s no way around it. From that pain new life is born and joined to all of humanity. There is a sacred bond I have seen my friend have with her patients. They share a sacred portal as they journey through the pain to the joining of science and mystery that is linked to God. In that moment, when a baby takes its first breath, God breathes live into that little soul and all of heaven rejoices.I think at that moment there is a union of souls, here and not of this world. God and the heavens rejoice and in that rapture a bond is formed.
"They come through you but are not from you, and though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them you love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."Kahlil Gibran
My friend is my midwife,not in the conventional way. she is my spiritual midwife. This metaphor is an important one. So many people experience huge spiritual shifts and new discoveries as they journey in their life. We all need guides who hold our hands and remind us to breathe and to be present in our joy and in our pain. We all need people who recognize and respect the birthing-something-new process who don’t try to rush it or numb it out. Being present in the moment, present with the pain. My friend has done this for me. We do this for each other.
We all need spiritual midwives.
If you are lucky, you may have more than one. I think this is a natural thing during different seasons of our lives. As we meet people throughout our lives, we share, we connect, we love, we are in relationship. Authentic relationships link us to something bigger within us and that links us to that other person.
I am very lucky and very blessed to have spiritual midwives in my life.
My priest is just that person too. As I began that shift in my life and in my faith to listen to and accept my call, she has been that steady, loving presence. I long to give birth to this new me that is forming with this call. I do not know exactly what will emerge,yet once I said yes, it continues to push me to step out in faith. Somewhat of a birthing of my call, a beginning. At times the journey is painful on many levels, yet joyous. My priest helps me sift through and embrace the unknown, through prayer, chats and by the power of the Holy Spirit. She has a tender openness to my questions and fears, that are gently guided. She reminds me to breathe and trust in the process. With her, I am freely able to ask questions, experience the joys and difficulties of a call and to be present in my pain and struggles instead of numb it. She will listen to my joys, my fears, my venting,my angst,she enables me to understand that raw honesty is helpful instead of pretending or numbing out and losing touch with what’s really going on inside....listening to and trusting in the movement of God in my life. With her I can share the sacredness of my relationship with God.
I am blessed to have such a mentor in my life. My journey has been difficult and it is so much better that she is there along the way. She helps guide, nurture and remind me that the struggles won't be like this forever and something wonderful and beautiful will indeed emerge and be brought to life, in God's timing, in God's way. "All will be well"
We all need midwives who tell us we can’t hurry the process.
I have lost some friends on my journey and that has been very sad to me. I do grieve this loss. I do have some amazing friends in my life who really have stuck with me through all of this. They won’t let go of me. They return my phone calls, hold me when I cry. Share in my joy and they gently point me toward what is beautiful, what is hopeful but without telling me what I should do and how I should do it. They respect my autonomy are with me in the moment and remind me to focus on what is emerging.
When it comes to the spiritual things being born & re-born in us, we need midwives who help celebrate the beauty of the moment, of what’s emerging, of what God is doing with us in the midst regardless of what it might look like at the moment. My friends help me see the beauty in the process even when I am not looking or sounding so beautiful. I have a dear freind who reminds me of this daily. We are both mothers, following a call. We remind each other that God called us to be a wife and mother first and from that He has called us to serve Him now in an added way. This reminder helps me be the wife, mother and woman God has called me to be. My friend has listened, prayed with and helped me with practical matters of everyday life and of my call. Her support has given me courage to press on and her words breath grace into my life. She will be ordained a Deacon. Her faithfulness, her gentleness, her frankness are a blessing to me. We journey together, yet our journey's are different. Oh...and we can laugh,cry and share..."Isn't God amazing?"..."Can you believe God did....", or "What is God doing?", "Why is he shaking things up?"When I feel that I can't push myself any further or out fo my comfort zone, she reminds me that the push/the movement out of my comfort zone eases the next push on the journey. When I am ready to take two steps forward, she reminds me to take one step back and slow down. As similar as we are, we are so very different.
We all need spiritual midwives who we can celebrate our uniqueness with.
My sister sees things differently, she has the gentle eyes and soul of a Christian mystic. She has been given the gift and a blessing of conscious awareness of God. She too is a spiritual midwife to me. Through her guiding eyes,I am able to trust in the possibiliites and let go, trusting in the movement of my body and its union with the Spirit. She is amazing. What makes her amazing is her faithfulness. She would be the first to say she is not special and that we all have the hand of God on us and that we have to listen to the whispers. She reminds me we are all theologians and we all can go deeper into the mystery of God's love in prayer and dwell in the mansions of our soul. As sisters, we share that special bond that sisters share. She has known me all my life and has seen both the light and darkness in my life and my journey. She guides me as we process and discern together, navigating through questions, struggles and sharing the joy and peace that passes all undertanding. There was a time that our relationship sturggled and it too went through a birthing process and what has emerged is a sacred sharing of two souls joined to the belovedness of God. Her husband calls us "The Sacred Sisters."
I know if we hang on long enough and see the process through, a “baby” will be born that will need nurturing, love and care. Some of the pushing is over, it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. New hope is somehow born, but like a newborn baby, it needs to be fed, nutured,loved and guided. The new things surfacing in us spiritually need tending to so that they can be healthy and strong over time.
We all need spiritual midwives.
As part of my discernment process it was suggested that I speak with a Spiritual Director. My spiritual director is also a spiritual midwife for me. I meet with her monthly and we pray and talk about my growing relationship with the Divine. Our conversations open a tending to the holiness of God touching my life both directly and indirectly. We discern the scared stories I may share on how God is working in my life and what I may perceive as not....during times when I feel spiritually lost. One of the many gifts she has blessed me with is a question she asked once,"How do you think, you experiencing that, made God feel about you?" Tweleve simple words that I have linked to my quiet time with God and I ask Him. I never thought of that before.....that God may possibly feel the same joy that He shares with me. I wonder if God has this over the moon joy,with me?
I use to cringe when people would say they were "born again" or they would tell me I needed to be "born again". I was often approached by very loud, over bearing Evangelical Christians. This intimated me and quite frankly turned me off. So, I avoided being "born again" at all costs. As I have matured in my faith, I do believe I am ...yes...born again. We are all born again, over and over in our journey, in our prayer life, in our relationship with one another and in our relationship with God. We are always evolving and clay in the potter's hand. This is what I feel Jesus is telling Nicodemus in John 3.
“Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ 8The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
There is so much more than just eternal salvation. I believe we are "born again" over and over in our spiritual journey.
Though exciting, beautiful and from God, birthing spirituality is scary, painful, joyful,life altering and complicated. This is why we need spiritual companions along the way to help us navigate and experience the miracle from deep within our soul. They help us hope, trust, believe in the process of the light of life emerging.
Thank you to my spiritual midwives.
Namaste'
Maureen
I have had the honor of being present at a few births with her as an observer and as a birth Doula. The love, care, nurturing and support I have witnessed my friend provide to her patients is inspiring, loving and spiritual. Watching the miracle of life coming into the world is well,a miracle...a profound mystical joining of this precious being to all of creation. Watching my friend help bring life into this world in a gentle, nurturing, present,wise,compassionate way,is a not only a miracle but a blessing to those she cares for.
Midwives understand the process of giving birth. They understand that it takes time and that it’s going to hurt. There are certain things we can do to hang on through the pain, but that there’s no way around it. From that pain new life is born and joined to all of humanity. There is a sacred bond I have seen my friend have with her patients. They share a sacred portal as they journey through the pain to the joining of science and mystery that is linked to God. In that moment, when a baby takes its first breath, God breathes live into that little soul and all of heaven rejoices.I think at that moment there is a union of souls, here and not of this world. God and the heavens rejoice and in that rapture a bond is formed.
"They come through you but are not from you, and though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them you love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams."Kahlil Gibran
My friend is my midwife,not in the conventional way. she is my spiritual midwife. This metaphor is an important one. So many people experience huge spiritual shifts and new discoveries as they journey in their life. We all need guides who hold our hands and remind us to breathe and to be present in our joy and in our pain. We all need people who recognize and respect the birthing-something-new process who don’t try to rush it or numb it out. Being present in the moment, present with the pain. My friend has done this for me. We do this for each other.
We all need spiritual midwives.
If you are lucky, you may have more than one. I think this is a natural thing during different seasons of our lives. As we meet people throughout our lives, we share, we connect, we love, we are in relationship. Authentic relationships link us to something bigger within us and that links us to that other person.
I am very lucky and very blessed to have spiritual midwives in my life.
My priest is just that person too. As I began that shift in my life and in my faith to listen to and accept my call, she has been that steady, loving presence. I long to give birth to this new me that is forming with this call. I do not know exactly what will emerge,yet once I said yes, it continues to push me to step out in faith. Somewhat of a birthing of my call, a beginning. At times the journey is painful on many levels, yet joyous. My priest helps me sift through and embrace the unknown, through prayer, chats and by the power of the Holy Spirit. She has a tender openness to my questions and fears, that are gently guided. She reminds me to breathe and trust in the process. With her, I am freely able to ask questions, experience the joys and difficulties of a call and to be present in my pain and struggles instead of numb it. She will listen to my joys, my fears, my venting,my angst,she enables me to understand that raw honesty is helpful instead of pretending or numbing out and losing touch with what’s really going on inside....listening to and trusting in the movement of God in my life. With her I can share the sacredness of my relationship with God.
I am blessed to have such a mentor in my life. My journey has been difficult and it is so much better that she is there along the way. She helps guide, nurture and remind me that the struggles won't be like this forever and something wonderful and beautiful will indeed emerge and be brought to life, in God's timing, in God's way. "All will be well"
We all need midwives who tell us we can’t hurry the process.
I have lost some friends on my journey and that has been very sad to me. I do grieve this loss. I do have some amazing friends in my life who really have stuck with me through all of this. They won’t let go of me. They return my phone calls, hold me when I cry. Share in my joy and they gently point me toward what is beautiful, what is hopeful but without telling me what I should do and how I should do it. They respect my autonomy are with me in the moment and remind me to focus on what is emerging.
When it comes to the spiritual things being born & re-born in us, we need midwives who help celebrate the beauty of the moment, of what’s emerging, of what God is doing with us in the midst regardless of what it might look like at the moment. My friends help me see the beauty in the process even when I am not looking or sounding so beautiful. I have a dear freind who reminds me of this daily. We are both mothers, following a call. We remind each other that God called us to be a wife and mother first and from that He has called us to serve Him now in an added way. This reminder helps me be the wife, mother and woman God has called me to be. My friend has listened, prayed with and helped me with practical matters of everyday life and of my call. Her support has given me courage to press on and her words breath grace into my life. She will be ordained a Deacon. Her faithfulness, her gentleness, her frankness are a blessing to me. We journey together, yet our journey's are different. Oh...and we can laugh,cry and share..."Isn't God amazing?"..."Can you believe God did....", or "What is God doing?", "Why is he shaking things up?"When I feel that I can't push myself any further or out fo my comfort zone, she reminds me that the push/the movement out of my comfort zone eases the next push on the journey. When I am ready to take two steps forward, she reminds me to take one step back and slow down. As similar as we are, we are so very different.
We all need spiritual midwives who we can celebrate our uniqueness with.
My sister sees things differently, she has the gentle eyes and soul of a Christian mystic. She has been given the gift and a blessing of conscious awareness of God. She too is a spiritual midwife to me. Through her guiding eyes,I am able to trust in the possibiliites and let go, trusting in the movement of my body and its union with the Spirit. She is amazing. What makes her amazing is her faithfulness. She would be the first to say she is not special and that we all have the hand of God on us and that we have to listen to the whispers. She reminds me we are all theologians and we all can go deeper into the mystery of God's love in prayer and dwell in the mansions of our soul. As sisters, we share that special bond that sisters share. She has known me all my life and has seen both the light and darkness in my life and my journey. She guides me as we process and discern together, navigating through questions, struggles and sharing the joy and peace that passes all undertanding. There was a time that our relationship sturggled and it too went through a birthing process and what has emerged is a sacred sharing of two souls joined to the belovedness of God. Her husband calls us "The Sacred Sisters."
I know if we hang on long enough and see the process through, a “baby” will be born that will need nurturing, love and care. Some of the pushing is over, it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. New hope is somehow born, but like a newborn baby, it needs to be fed, nutured,loved and guided. The new things surfacing in us spiritually need tending to so that they can be healthy and strong over time.
We all need spiritual midwives.
As part of my discernment process it was suggested that I speak with a Spiritual Director. My spiritual director is also a spiritual midwife for me. I meet with her monthly and we pray and talk about my growing relationship with the Divine. Our conversations open a tending to the holiness of God touching my life both directly and indirectly. We discern the scared stories I may share on how God is working in my life and what I may perceive as not....during times when I feel spiritually lost. One of the many gifts she has blessed me with is a question she asked once,"How do you think, you experiencing that, made God feel about you?" Tweleve simple words that I have linked to my quiet time with God and I ask Him. I never thought of that before.....that God may possibly feel the same joy that He shares with me. I wonder if God has this over the moon joy,with me?
I use to cringe when people would say they were "born again" or they would tell me I needed to be "born again". I was often approached by very loud, over bearing Evangelical Christians. This intimated me and quite frankly turned me off. So, I avoided being "born again" at all costs. As I have matured in my faith, I do believe I am ...yes...born again. We are all born again, over and over in our journey, in our prayer life, in our relationship with one another and in our relationship with God. We are always evolving and clay in the potter's hand. This is what I feel Jesus is telling Nicodemus in John 3.
“Very truly, I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God without being born from above.” Nicodemus said to him, “How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered, “Very truly, I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be astonished that I said to you, ‘You must be born from above.’ 8The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
There is so much more than just eternal salvation. I believe we are "born again" over and over in our spiritual journey.
Though exciting, beautiful and from God, birthing spirituality is scary, painful, joyful,life altering and complicated. This is why we need spiritual companions along the way to help us navigate and experience the miracle from deep within our soul. They help us hope, trust, believe in the process of the light of life emerging.
Thank you to my spiritual midwives.
Namaste'
Maureen
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Great Light of the World
One of my favorite times to "be" is in that moment before I am fully awake. It is in that moment that I feel I am re-entering my body, sometimes from a peaceful sleep, sometimes from a place that gives me that peace that passes all understanding.
This morning I was in such a place and this is what I heard:
Let me share a few things. I have heard this song a number of times, we occasionally sing it at church. I do not know the lyrics by heart. What I do know is the symphony in my head this morning filled my heart. As I let myself "be" I again heard music, this time it was:
I knew I needed to sit and just "be". I sat in silence for quite some time. Then, quiet prayer that moved me so inward that a sacred portal was once again shared with me. I reconized this feeling. It was as if I was within a transparent cocoon, I could feel the pulse of a heartbeat and of sadness. oh...I could see so much, yet I couldn't see. There was so much love,inward and outward. I could feel it resonate within me. I was suspended within this all consuming embrace, an awareness of faith and of God....the warmth, the gentleness, the love. A sweet rapture consumed me and I was blessed with clarity not of this world.
What does this mean? Many things and more. What I do know for sure , is that, The Great Light of the World gives me hope to carry on.
Namaste'
Maureen
This morning I was in such a place and this is what I heard:
Let me share a few things. I have heard this song a number of times, we occasionally sing it at church. I do not know the lyrics by heart. What I do know is the symphony in my head this morning filled my heart. As I let myself "be" I again heard music, this time it was:
I knew I needed to sit and just "be". I sat in silence for quite some time. Then, quiet prayer that moved me so inward that a sacred portal was once again shared with me. I reconized this feeling. It was as if I was within a transparent cocoon, I could feel the pulse of a heartbeat and of sadness. oh...I could see so much, yet I couldn't see. There was so much love,inward and outward. I could feel it resonate within me. I was suspended within this all consuming embrace, an awareness of faith and of God....the warmth, the gentleness, the love. A sweet rapture consumed me and I was blessed with clarity not of this world.
What does this mean? Many things and more. What I do know for sure , is that, The Great Light of the World gives me hope to carry on.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Romans 5: 1-5
"Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5
This passage kept coming into my mind as I was in bed praying. I couldn't sleep.
This is one of my favorite passages in the bible. This passage was given to me to read when I was struggling with bulima in high school. Many years later, I was asked to pray this passage with a woman I knew who was going to prision after making some bad choices. Her love of God, her repentence and this passage was going to get her through her year in jail, away from her children. Years later, I read this passage to my friend eveytime she began her chemotherapy. If I wasn't with her, I read it to her over the phone. Recently, I shared this passage with a teenager. All of us in different seasons in our lives, with sturggles that seem too big to bear but with faith, trust and pure stubbornness we all can forge on, lead by faith to overcome. I hope that this passage continues to resonate with those who read it and pray on it. It is the climb up the mountain that enables us to overcome so we can become what awaits us on the other side.
Romans 5:1-5 is my mantra.
I think this passage speaks to our suffering in a very personal way. We all suffer through life at different times and in different ways. We personally suffer through difficulties, health crisis,life's hard times, grief and the list can go on. As a parent, I suffer as I sometimes watch my children suffer. It is through our struggles and suffering that God gives us hope in the possibilities of tomorrow.
I often feel that I live in two worlds, the world of this century and a spiritual world that is beyond my comprehension. A place of undeserved privilege. It is a separation of and a union of something bigger than me, a two sided reality of my life. Oh...and when I am there, breathing in the breath of God....I do have the faith to overcome and that feeling is what I lean on when I forget, which is only human, isn't it? The gift of knowing God is always, always with me, gives me my strength and hope in tomorrow.
On the one hand I am growing in Christ, feeling both His presence and the struggles of life. Then there is this peace that passes all understanding and lives in my soul. Having experienced that peace,I know the climb to the other side of my struggles, to that peace, is what I must overcome to become. It is in this journey that God carries me when the climb seems too much to bear, when I can't do it alone but I know I am not alone, as God lives in me.
I think this is what the apostle Paul is saying to us: We will experience difficulties that help us grow, we rejoice in suffering (yes, rejoice in suffering....I know this is a hard one and it totally sucks at times, but we learn to depend on the strength that God gives us, who is alive in us by the power of the Holy Spirit). We rejoice in suffering not because we like pain or deny the feelings that this pain brings. We rejoice because by faith, we know that God is using the difficulties we face to build our character to be more like Him. The problems we run into will develop our perseverance, which will also strengthen our character. This will deepen our trust in God and we are never, never alone.
Namaste',
Maureen
My 16 year old son told me this evening that I have written about Roamns 5:1-5 twice on my blog. My 16 year old takes the time to read my blog! Now that is totally cool.
This passage kept coming into my mind as I was in bed praying. I couldn't sleep.
This is one of my favorite passages in the bible. This passage was given to me to read when I was struggling with bulima in high school. Many years later, I was asked to pray this passage with a woman I knew who was going to prision after making some bad choices. Her love of God, her repentence and this passage was going to get her through her year in jail, away from her children. Years later, I read this passage to my friend eveytime she began her chemotherapy. If I wasn't with her, I read it to her over the phone. Recently, I shared this passage with a teenager. All of us in different seasons in our lives, with sturggles that seem too big to bear but with faith, trust and pure stubbornness we all can forge on, lead by faith to overcome. I hope that this passage continues to resonate with those who read it and pray on it. It is the climb up the mountain that enables us to overcome so we can become what awaits us on the other side.
Romans 5:1-5 is my mantra.
I think this passage speaks to our suffering in a very personal way. We all suffer through life at different times and in different ways. We personally suffer through difficulties, health crisis,life's hard times, grief and the list can go on. As a parent, I suffer as I sometimes watch my children suffer. It is through our struggles and suffering that God gives us hope in the possibilities of tomorrow.
I often feel that I live in two worlds, the world of this century and a spiritual world that is beyond my comprehension. A place of undeserved privilege. It is a separation of and a union of something bigger than me, a two sided reality of my life. Oh...and when I am there, breathing in the breath of God....I do have the faith to overcome and that feeling is what I lean on when I forget, which is only human, isn't it? The gift of knowing God is always, always with me, gives me my strength and hope in tomorrow.
On the one hand I am growing in Christ, feeling both His presence and the struggles of life. Then there is this peace that passes all understanding and lives in my soul. Having experienced that peace,I know the climb to the other side of my struggles, to that peace, is what I must overcome to become. It is in this journey that God carries me when the climb seems too much to bear, when I can't do it alone but I know I am not alone, as God lives in me.
I think this is what the apostle Paul is saying to us: We will experience difficulties that help us grow, we rejoice in suffering (yes, rejoice in suffering....I know this is a hard one and it totally sucks at times, but we learn to depend on the strength that God gives us, who is alive in us by the power of the Holy Spirit). We rejoice in suffering not because we like pain or deny the feelings that this pain brings. We rejoice because by faith, we know that God is using the difficulties we face to build our character to be more like Him. The problems we run into will develop our perseverance, which will also strengthen our character. This will deepen our trust in God and we are never, never alone.
Namaste',
Maureen
My 16 year old son told me this evening that I have written about Roamns 5:1-5 twice on my blog. My 16 year old takes the time to read my blog! Now that is totally cool.
Friday, October 22, 2010
My Rosary
"Loving Jesus with the heart of Mary."
Mother Teresa
October is the month of the Rosary, which resonates with Roman Catholics everywhere. October 7th is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Developed in the West, it is a typically meditative prayer, corresponding in some way to the “prayer of the heart” or “Jesus prayer” which took root in the soil of the Christian East.
The rosary is a prayer tradition that I have had in my life since I was in elementary school. I learned the rosary in second grade during the time I made my First Holy Communion, as it is called in the Roman Catholic Church. I do prefer how one participates in the Eucharist in the Episcopal Church. (This is clearly a post for another time because I have alot to say about the Eucharist) Anyway...
My rosary beads are purple plastic. A treasure. Now, I have some others that also have special meaning. I have some from my mom and grandmother, which have crystal beads, a few that have been blessed by the Pope John Paul II and a rosary chaplet from my sister. I keep a pair in my glove box in my car, one is in a special box in my family room, one next to my "prayer chair" in my sun room and my purple plastic ones are always in my pocket. If I do not have a pocket they are in my purse. These purple plastic rosary beads are my most treasured possession.
Initially, the purple plastic rosary beads were given to me when I made my First Communion in second grade. I lost them for some time last year and they found their way back to me, in a very special, very divine way. A God moment or God-incidence as my friend says.
I learned how to pray the rosary at this time and have prayed it since.... my sacred lullaby, an end to the gift of each day. There are times I meditate on the mysteries, times I pray the Hail Mary's and The Lord's Prayer and meditate on the intercessions I am praying at that time. I often drift into a contemplative state and sometimes I feel transported to the foot of the Cross, standing beside Mary, witnessing my Savior bearing the weight of my sin. Sometimes I get insight into the meaning of Scripture as it applies to my life. Other times I get a warm glow through my entire body. I would like to think this is the Holy Spirit.
I love what I call my rosary walks, walks with my dogs when I prayer-walk the rosary. I love being on my bike and praying the rosary. There is something about the meditation and the physical rhythm that is both soothing and opens my listening heart to the Spirit, just being in, resting in, breathing in presence, and at times, being deeply joined to what I feel is Mary's side. A moment of grace being molded to the mansions of my soul, until Christ is "fully formed" in me. (Galatians 4:19)
This rhythm transcends my soul deeper to a union with Mary and our Beloved Lord. The rosary invites us to do, as Mary did at the Annunciation: to ask humbly the questions which open us to the light, in order to end with the obedience of faith: “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word (Luke 1:38)."-
I think of praying the rosary as meditative gift I give myself.
This prayer does not conflict with the Liturgy of the Episcopal Church that I love. It sustains it. It is only in the mystery of the Word made flesh that the mystery of man is seen in its true light. The Rosary helps to open up the way to this light, an intentional commitment to the contemplation of the Christian mystery. Mary's obedience to God and closeness to Jesus made her holy. Our nearness to Jesus makes us Holy.
I know I am devoted to the Blessed Mother. Her story has brought me closer to Jesus. It is her heart that I long for in this very Martha world.
Namaste'
Maureen
Mother Teresa
October is the month of the Rosary, which resonates with Roman Catholics everywhere. October 7th is the feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Developed in the West, it is a typically meditative prayer, corresponding in some way to the “prayer of the heart” or “Jesus prayer” which took root in the soil of the Christian East.
The rosary is a prayer tradition that I have had in my life since I was in elementary school. I learned the rosary in second grade during the time I made my First Holy Communion, as it is called in the Roman Catholic Church. I do prefer how one participates in the Eucharist in the Episcopal Church. (This is clearly a post for another time because I have alot to say about the Eucharist) Anyway...
My rosary beads are purple plastic. A treasure. Now, I have some others that also have special meaning. I have some from my mom and grandmother, which have crystal beads, a few that have been blessed by the Pope John Paul II and a rosary chaplet from my sister. I keep a pair in my glove box in my car, one is in a special box in my family room, one next to my "prayer chair" in my sun room and my purple plastic ones are always in my pocket. If I do not have a pocket they are in my purse. These purple plastic rosary beads are my most treasured possession.
Initially, the purple plastic rosary beads were given to me when I made my First Communion in second grade. I lost them for some time last year and they found their way back to me, in a very special, very divine way. A God moment or God-incidence as my friend says.
I learned how to pray the rosary at this time and have prayed it since.... my sacred lullaby, an end to the gift of each day. There are times I meditate on the mysteries, times I pray the Hail Mary's and The Lord's Prayer and meditate on the intercessions I am praying at that time. I often drift into a contemplative state and sometimes I feel transported to the foot of the Cross, standing beside Mary, witnessing my Savior bearing the weight of my sin. Sometimes I get insight into the meaning of Scripture as it applies to my life. Other times I get a warm glow through my entire body. I would like to think this is the Holy Spirit.
I love what I call my rosary walks, walks with my dogs when I prayer-walk the rosary. I love being on my bike and praying the rosary. There is something about the meditation and the physical rhythm that is both soothing and opens my listening heart to the Spirit, just being in, resting in, breathing in presence, and at times, being deeply joined to what I feel is Mary's side. A moment of grace being molded to the mansions of my soul, until Christ is "fully formed" in me. (Galatians 4:19)
This rhythm transcends my soul deeper to a union with Mary and our Beloved Lord. The rosary invites us to do, as Mary did at the Annunciation: to ask humbly the questions which open us to the light, in order to end with the obedience of faith: “Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word (Luke 1:38)."-
I think of praying the rosary as meditative gift I give myself.
This prayer does not conflict with the Liturgy of the Episcopal Church that I love. It sustains it. It is only in the mystery of the Word made flesh that the mystery of man is seen in its true light. The Rosary helps to open up the way to this light, an intentional commitment to the contemplation of the Christian mystery. Mary's obedience to God and closeness to Jesus made her holy. Our nearness to Jesus makes us Holy.
I know I am devoted to the Blessed Mother. Her story has brought me closer to Jesus. It is her heart that I long for in this very Martha world.
Namaste'
Maureen
Thursday, October 7, 2010
26 years
"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; "it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
1 Corinthians 13: 4-6 (NRSV)
Today my husband, John and I , celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. 26 years! As I think back to that day, there are so many details that I still recall. We began our life together as husband and wife. We began building a life together that continues today.
I met John through our dear friend Dave. Dave and I were lab partners. John and Dave were best friends. To make a long story short, I was dating Dave and well , you can guess how the rest of the story goes....
We were hard working college students. John graduated a year ahead, I was on the 5 year plan and Dave was working on his Masters. We all planned a double date in NYC to meet one another. We saw the show "Nine" and met for drinks at "Windows of the World" at the top the World Trade Center. It was a fun magical evening. I recall John walking into the Window of the World and this voice inside of me saying, "You are going to marry him". Well, my logical, liberated side, said, " Please....Maureen , you don't even REALLY know this guy, he HAS a girl friend, etc. etc. " Well...that night I pondered for along time. That guy, seemed so cool, so sensitive, so articulate, so respectful, so gentle,so smart, so amazing and yes...so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. So....this voice in my head, I tried to block out. I told myself to breathe and trust in the possibilities.
We married at age 24. We were young, naive and filled with hopes and dreams for our life together.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran
Our life together has not been hard but it has not always been easy.
We were married for 5 years before we had children. We worked, played and grew together yet separately. Three children in 5 years. We continued to play and grow together yet separately. John worked I was able to stay home with our children. A blessing indeed. I loved being a stay at home mom. I smile as I write that. You see I insisted that I was going to be a career woman,juggling daycare, marriage and career. Well, I melted when I held our first born and was hooked. John supported my decision, with what I now feel was a WHEW and an OH BOY! We both were raised with moms at home when we were young ,so it sounded like the natural thing to do but it didn't seem natural to me. That is not until I experienced bringing life into this world. A gift from God indeed. John wanted me to be happy and if working would make me happy, he was all for it. Deciding to stay at home meant living on one income. Very difficult, at times. John traveled alot both in the US and abroad. We didn't have alot of money and we were not the best stewards of our resources at the time. Our young love made everything seem possible. We moved together well. We created a rhythm to our life that was easy and loving; valuing our independence,respecting one another's independence, our uniqueness, our oneness and our differences.
"Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music."
Kahlil Gibran
As I write this my heart smiles. You know that, the "garage door lifting sound signaling.....he's home sound". Joy in my heart! I often think of this and the qualities about John that I cherish in the joyous moments and when challenges and transitions of our life bring us into uncharted territory.
It is only natural that in marriage , there will be uncharted territory as one grows and matures. Life happens...raising children, work travel, miscarriages, extended family drama, a cancer diagnosis,trauma, graduations,college tuition payments, aging parents...life happens. Oh.... and then throw in a deepening spirituality, and BTW honey, I have this calling. A calling from God to be a priest...talk about uncharted territory.....something neither one of us could have imagined or dreamed of 26 years ago. We continue to grow and mature together and separately. I have faith, I have hope, I have trust and I work on not letting this separate growth hurt this sacred union.I know God has re-entered my life in a most amazing way and that can only bless my marriage. I love my husband. He is a good man, a loving father and husband. At 24 I know I didn't use the words sacred union or feel the depth of that meaning. Over the years I have come to treasure the sacrament of my marriage.
"A sacrament is an outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace" BCP pg.857
This grace in our lives has grown out of a mutual respect that continues to evolve into a continuing transformation of two different people, who love one another and will honor the differences, challenges, and joys that life gives us.
So, on this special day I honor my husband for the 26 years that he has blessed me with.
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
And, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Kahlil Gibran
Namaste,
Maureen
1 Corinthians 13: 4-6 (NRSV)
Today my husband, John and I , celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. 26 years! As I think back to that day, there are so many details that I still recall. We began our life together as husband and wife. We began building a life together that continues today.
I met John through our dear friend Dave. Dave and I were lab partners. John and Dave were best friends. To make a long story short, I was dating Dave and well , you can guess how the rest of the story goes....
We were hard working college students. John graduated a year ahead, I was on the 5 year plan and Dave was working on his Masters. We all planned a double date in NYC to meet one another. We saw the show "Nine" and met for drinks at "Windows of the World" at the top the World Trade Center. It was a fun magical evening. I recall John walking into the Window of the World and this voice inside of me saying, "You are going to marry him". Well, my logical, liberated side, said, " Please....Maureen , you don't even REALLY know this guy, he HAS a girl friend, etc. etc. " Well...that night I pondered for along time. That guy, seemed so cool, so sensitive, so articulate, so respectful, so gentle,so smart, so amazing and yes...so handsome. My heart skipped a beat. So....this voice in my head, I tried to block out. I told myself to breathe and trust in the possibilities.
We married at age 24. We were young, naive and filled with hopes and dreams for our life together.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
Kahlil Gibran
Our life together has not been hard but it has not always been easy.
We were married for 5 years before we had children. We worked, played and grew together yet separately. Three children in 5 years. We continued to play and grow together yet separately. John worked I was able to stay home with our children. A blessing indeed. I loved being a stay at home mom. I smile as I write that. You see I insisted that I was going to be a career woman,juggling daycare, marriage and career. Well, I melted when I held our first born and was hooked. John supported my decision, with what I now feel was a WHEW and an OH BOY! We both were raised with moms at home when we were young ,so it sounded like the natural thing to do but it didn't seem natural to me. That is not until I experienced bringing life into this world. A gift from God indeed. John wanted me to be happy and if working would make me happy, he was all for it. Deciding to stay at home meant living on one income. Very difficult, at times. John traveled alot both in the US and abroad. We didn't have alot of money and we were not the best stewards of our resources at the time. Our young love made everything seem possible. We moved together well. We created a rhythm to our life that was easy and loving; valuing our independence,respecting one another's independence, our uniqueness, our oneness and our differences.
"Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music."
Kahlil Gibran
As I write this my heart smiles. You know that, the "garage door lifting sound signaling.....he's home sound". Joy in my heart! I often think of this and the qualities about John that I cherish in the joyous moments and when challenges and transitions of our life bring us into uncharted territory.
It is only natural that in marriage , there will be uncharted territory as one grows and matures. Life happens...raising children, work travel, miscarriages, extended family drama, a cancer diagnosis,trauma, graduations,college tuition payments, aging parents...life happens. Oh.... and then throw in a deepening spirituality, and BTW honey, I have this calling. A calling from God to be a priest...talk about uncharted territory.....something neither one of us could have imagined or dreamed of 26 years ago. We continue to grow and mature together and separately. I have faith, I have hope, I have trust and I work on not letting this separate growth hurt this sacred union.I know God has re-entered my life in a most amazing way and that can only bless my marriage. I love my husband. He is a good man, a loving father and husband. At 24 I know I didn't use the words sacred union or feel the depth of that meaning. Over the years I have come to treasure the sacrament of my marriage.
"A sacrament is an outward and visible signs of inward and spiritual grace, given by Christ as sure and certain means by which we receive that grace" BCP pg.857
This grace in our lives has grown out of a mutual respect that continues to evolve into a continuing transformation of two different people, who love one another and will honor the differences, challenges, and joys that life gives us.
So, on this special day I honor my husband for the 26 years that he has blessed me with.
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
And, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Kahlil Gibran
Namaste,
Maureen
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Take Up the Cross
"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mark 8:34
The cross that God calls me to carry has many different shapes. I may have to be content with my work in a limited area of service, even when I feel God is calling me for greater work. I may be asked by God to nurture kind and loving thoughts about the person who has wronged me, frustrated me, hurt me.... speaking kindly, take his/her side when others oppose him/her, giving comfort. Not easy...this grace and humility thing. I may have to openly share God's word to those who really don't care or believe. I may be called to embrace each day with a smiling face while my heart is breaking.
Each cross is heavy and painful. None I choose. They have been given to me. Jesus is with me when I lay my cross on my shoulder. I must be patient with an uncomplaining spirit or NO WHINING as my friend's son would say. I don't carry my cross well. I must be truly submissive. I must live into my cross, trusting that Jesus is near carrying my burdens with me. I can't do it alone. Carrying my cross with Jesus makes any burden bearable,deepens my commitment, matures my faith and brings me closer to my resurrection.
My climb up Calvary is difficult and painful. Through this though, the sweet fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control will be poured into my soul through the cross of Jesus . "With every cross there is a resurrection" and I trust the growth that is occurring will enable me to be of greater use to others.
Namaste,
Maureen
The cross that God calls me to carry has many different shapes. I may have to be content with my work in a limited area of service, even when I feel God is calling me for greater work. I may be asked by God to nurture kind and loving thoughts about the person who has wronged me, frustrated me, hurt me.... speaking kindly, take his/her side when others oppose him/her, giving comfort. Not easy...this grace and humility thing. I may have to openly share God's word to those who really don't care or believe. I may be called to embrace each day with a smiling face while my heart is breaking.
Each cross is heavy and painful. None I choose. They have been given to me. Jesus is with me when I lay my cross on my shoulder. I must be patient with an uncomplaining spirit or NO WHINING as my friend's son would say. I don't carry my cross well. I must be truly submissive. I must live into my cross, trusting that Jesus is near carrying my burdens with me. I can't do it alone. Carrying my cross with Jesus makes any burden bearable,deepens my commitment, matures my faith and brings me closer to my resurrection.
My climb up Calvary is difficult and painful. Through this though, the sweet fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control will be poured into my soul through the cross of Jesus . "With every cross there is a resurrection" and I trust the growth that is occurring will enable me to be of greater use to others.
Namaste,
Maureen
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