Sunday, December 11, 2011
Advent Joy
Monday, November 28, 2011
Advent Hope
I don’t mean what the children are waiting for Santa Claus to bring them in a few
weeks, kind of hope, t-h-o-u-g-h we could all learn something from that energy and
anticipation.
What are you hoping for this coming year?
Most adults are too shy, fearful or even ashamed to name our big and
lasting hopes. We make do. We make do with lesser things, like shopping for
things that won’t answer our hopes for more than an instant. We make due
because we sometimes are afraid to dream.
What are you hoping for?
What holy dream keeps you searching in the midst of darkness? How do you tend
to that place in your heart which your longings for healing, justice, love and peace
stir? How do you let them grow? How do you keep on going?
This is a place of hope. We are community of hope.
We are all in the same boat, we want to be valued, we want to be healthy, we want
to be welcomed in a place of safety and be nurtured by the people who care for us
and by the people who love us.
Once we get a little experience of that, we j--u--s--t might have enough courage to
go on back out there and get to work on our hopes. That’s how it works, building
trust in relationships with a foundation of honesty, empathy and compassion.
Once we take that chance and hope, we catch a glimpse of a dream that’s big
enough and encouraging enough to begin to drive out our fears and birth a deep,
abiding and transforming kind of hope, believing it is possible. And yes, Virginia,
“All things are possible with God.”
That’s the kind of hope I see every where. I see it in the cancer patient who knows that the waning days of his life have meaning, he’s grateful for his wife of 50 years, he’s giving thanks for the blessing of the sun’s warmth through his window each day and he’s hopeful for what is coming. I see hope in the healing hands of the occupational and physical therapists the doctors and nurses. I see hope in the cafeteria staff as they prepare meals that nourish our bodies enabling us to nourish those we serve. I see hope in the passion and commitment of those who work here in partnership, building relationships to serve the sick and injured, bringing hope to everyone they touch. Theologian Henri Nouwen reminds us in today’s reading,
As long as there is still hope.”
This is hope in the eyes of new parents seeing their baby for the first time and in
the eyes of patients who cannot speak, trusting the staff, their caregivers,
volunteers and families. It is the hope in the eyes of the staff as they care for one
another. It is the hope in the eyes and hearts of families as they help a loved one on their journey to eternal life.
Family, friends, staff….For many, you are the voice of hope.
Hope makes all things possible. It’s about new life, the new life of God’s breath
and spirit within each and every one of us, to transform us ,so we can be a blessing
to others, in the way that they need us to be.
That kind of hope requires enough vulnerability to own our fears. We can’t
really hope unless we know what’s wrong. When we can begin to name and
acknowledge those fears, we’ll find that hope is a cure.It brings meaning and purpose.
Hope – holy hope. This is hope that we hand over to God and let Him carry us, releasing every concern,every burden to rest in the love of God. SO....
Let Go and Let God.
Let God work.
Let God work in our darkness. While we wait and yearn for light in our darkness, in our struggles, in our work, in our diagnosis, something happens. The door that seemed to be slammed shut leads to an open window and we hear God’s whisper…
It is not always easy. God will trouble you, God will comfort you, God will stir you up, and God will calm you. But do not cease to breathe God’s spirit into your soul.
Breathe in the breath of God and exhale Hope. This is our light. This is hope.
Namaste'
Maureen
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Cooks for Christ
The gospel on Sunday makes me think how Jesus was maybe beginning to think about his own destiny. Maybe there was an increasing urgency to perpetuate his vision and he had to nudge the disciples. It was time for the disciples to become apostles, for the passive listeners to become doers, following his example. Isn’t that what Jesus asks of us?
Live the gospel. These are powerful and challenging words and this is just what the Girls Shepherd group did on Monday evening at Cooks for Christ.
Abby, Adell, Casey,Maggie,Maggie, myself and ministry leader Margie sliced,cut and prepared dinner.
“…taking the five loaves and two fish he looked up to heaven and blessed, and broke and gave the loaves to the disciples and the disciples gave them to the crowds.” (Matthew 14:19)
The girls prayed, broke bread and fed 45 residents at the shelter, with enough left over for some lunches today. This was made possible by the generosity of parishioners at St. David’s who have been called to share the abundance of God’s grace in their lives to nourish others, providing the resources that made hungry families secure in their food needs for the night. A blessing.
But this blessing is all but empty, as Jesus so clearly demonstrated in that lonely place, without the subsequent acts of breaking and giving, dividing and sharing. Grace must follow upon grace.
These amazing young ladies let the light of Jesus shine through them in their words, their actions and their love. I am so blessed to observe God's presence in their lives.
Maggie shared in her prayer, “we are together sheltered from the storm this night, to share this meal.” Community and fellowship around a table where dinner had been placed sharing the same hunger…to love and be loved, to feel useful and valued.
There was an abundance of food but the blessings were so much more.
What may have seemed ordinary, changed with God's grace into something extraordinary.
Namaste'
Maureen
Friday, July 29, 2011
Morning Prayer
I love the liturgy of the morning prayer in the Book of Common Prayer, said in community. I think we all also need time alone with our thoughts and alone with those thoughts that God places on our hearts. I have discovered the morning prayer below on a recent trip to the Holy Cross Monastery in upstate New York. I pray it in the quiet of each morning. For me it is a sacred vow to live fully in each moment with eyes of compassion and trust in God.
O God, this morning I have come, into the quietness and stillness of your presence, to begin the day, so that out of this moment, I may take with me a quiet serenity, which will last me through the rough, and the smooth of this day’s life.
I have come to find wisdom, so that today I may not make any foolish mistakes, that I may know when to speak, and when to keep silent, when to act, and when to refrain from action.
I have come to find peace, so that nothing may worry or upset me, all through today.
I have come to find courage, to be patient not to give up hope, when hopes are long in coming true, to accept disappointment without bitterness, and delay without complaint.
I have come to find love-to listen to your love, so that all through today I may love, without being attached, that nothing may make me bitter or unforgiving.
I have come to begin the day with you, so that I may be able to continue it, and end it with you, without regret.
And I have come this day, O God, to be real, transparent as a mountain spring, with a heart open and spontaneous as a child.
Hear this, my morning prayer: in the name of Jesus and for the sake of the world. Amen-May it be so.
Found at Morningstar R.C. Seminary, Barrackpore, India
adapted by Kent Ira Groff
Namaste,
Maureen
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Blessings
Finding my way back to centering prayer has opened my heart to receive the love that God has for me. He fills me, with peace, embraces me and upholds me to feel His love and blessings . It is in this time of prayer that I sense the indwelling essence of spirit. I am humbled before its mystery.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
My Prayer
Please hold onto me and help me find the sacred within me. Help me reach beyond my hurt and my disappointment to the life giving breath of your Holy Spirit. As it breathes life into me, please have it take away my pain so I can be grateful for the life I have been blessed with. Help me exercise my faith to refresh my strength and spirit. Guide me to still waters to calm all I wrestle with. I can't do this alone, Lord. I am scared. I ask as I look deep into myself, that you will bless me with a vision of hope as I accept that this time too, is a holy journey.
Amen.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Pentecost
"When the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. And suddenly from heaven there came a sound like the rush of a violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Divided tongues, as of fire, appeared among them, and a tongue rested on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other languages, as the Spirit gave them ability."
Acts 2: 1-4 NSRV
Pentecost, the celebration of the Spirit, the birthday of the church,is my
favorite Sunday of the church year. One reason I look so forward to Pentecost is that the Holy Spirit operates on this day as something of a wild card,descending upon us in unexpected ways. It is Holy Spirit after all...a Holy Chaos that embraces and stirs a contagious energy.
I am so drawn to Pentecost by the way the Holy Spirit fills me with such joy and hope over and over again.
We celebrate the birthday of the church,yet the festivities are not aimed at celebrating us, our efforts or our accomplishments. We celebrate God who chose to birth the church out of the chaos and despair of those early days after Jesus’death. Each Pentecost I feel that is what we do. We let go off the stuff that weighs us down, to really do God's work. We trust in the movement of the Spirit. It is kind of like the Holy Spirit's coming out party.
So, Pentecost is a birthday party, and the present God always brings is new life. For us today at service, how wonderful it was to share in the baptism of a new baby, new life, the newest member of our community, on the very same day that God breathes new life into all of us.
We are anointed with the gifts of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are freely given to us, we are blessed with them so we can go out in the world, be disciples and bless others.
This anointing, this fire from above, is for us to move forward to proclaim the Word and live the gospel,in our lives, in our homes, in our work, in our community and in the world; with a renewed passion and "spirit" that we have been blessed with through the resurrection and suffering of Jesus.
God wants to release Pentecost on us, giving us the Holy Spirit to guide us and keep us on the path.
"Wherever you go, I am going with you. I'm giving you all authority. Go into the world and I will confirm My Word with signs, wonders, and miracles."
That's what it is about, don't you think? Stepping out in faith with trust in the power of the Holy Spirit to guide us, revealing the mystery that can and will bring transformation.
Barbara Brown Taylor has a wonderful way of describing that event. She writes: " He commissioned them by breathing on them, opening his mouth and pouring what was inside of him into them so that their bangs flew and their eyelashes fluttered and they could smell where he had come from -- not just Golgotha and Galilee, but way before that -- back when the world itself was being born. Anyone standing there that evening with any memory at all could smell Eden on his breath: salt brine, river mud, calla lilies. They could feel their own lungs fill as they brought back to life. It was Genesis reborn, as they were created all over again by the power of the Spirit that was coming out of his mouth."
Taylor and others tell us there are two distinctly different models of church that emerge from these stories. One is the Pentecostal model, the church that receives the Spirit in dramatic fashion and shares that gift just as dramatically. The other is the Johannine model, which receives the Spirit more as a gentle gift. Obviously, whether one is a gentle breath type or a mighty wind type, the church has but one purpose. Taylor says, "the church has received the Holy Spirit, the world has not, and it is the church's job to bring the Spirit into the world."
Are you up to the job? The Holy Spirit challenge.
Who are you in the world today at this moment?
Are you living and dreaming God's dream for your life?
How is the Spirit moving in your life?
Will you let the movement of the spirit ignite your own renewed Pentecost?
God continues to send the Holy Spirit to soothe us, His anxious disciples, who are
made by God but unmade by our own fears, doubts and brokenness. The Spirit ignites us over and over again, firing us up until we stop thinking so much about what we are or are not doing; and worrying so much about what might or might not happen. We come to just trust and have faith to be led by the Spirit and just do what feels right,what we know is right and let happen whatever God intends, living the life God dreams for us.
So you see, whenever God plays the wild card of the Holy Spirit,whether it is with Holy Chaos or a gentle nudge, the future of Christ’s body gets lifted right out of the hands of disciples and transplanted right firmly in the heart of God,in the church and in each and everyone of us in the world.
I often feel the presence of the Holy Spirit through others in my life and as I continue my adventure in spiritual growth and in my spiritual journey. When the Spirit came to the disciples huddled in their locked room, he changed their world. The Holy Spirit speaks to me and is constantly changing my world, challenging me and filling me with joy.
How are you going to share the story beyond your locked room?
Holy Spirit, in and beyond me,
keep and extend me among strangers and friends.
Let me see clearly and reach deep.
Open me to feel and live your gospel,proclaiming your word
with my voice as I never have before
with my actions
with my love
with your guidance
Let me hear the music of your glory before me.
Let love move me.
Awaken me again,again and again.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, June 5, 2011
For Kathy
Personally, my gratitude is more than is more than I can put into words and I know some of you find that hard to believe! There are some things that there are no words for.
Kathy, I have only known you 9 short months. Our conversations began last spring over the phone, after my application sat in a folder on my desk for two years. During those conversations and your patience of my many, many questions
Sometimes in life we are lucky enough to meet someone who touches us in a way that is life changing. You have been that for me, in many ways. Through classroom work, verbatim discussions, reflection comments, email exchange, and reaching out to me when I needed it most....I am forever grateful.
We talked in class last week about us all being brought together in this class, in this time, for a reason. The reason some of us may know now and some of us may not know for a long time. I think it is safe to say that I, along with my comrades in pastoral care will continue to trust in the movement of the spirit, in the sacred space, of how deeply our lives have intertwined.
This is a gift you have given us all...to trust in ...to be open to...to believe in the sacred exchange that takes place in caring ministry.
Kathy, you have such a beautiful way of always meeting people where they are and sometimes gently nudging us to where we need to be and if we didn’t get it with the gentle nudge, you push a little harder, always with a with compassion and a listening heart that leads to growth and transformation.
We have learned that in understanding our own grief, sadness and wounds that have shaped our own lives we can be living reminders of God's love and care and be a blessing to others.
I read something from the mystic, Julian of Norwich that I feel summarizes this sacred work in pastoral care that we are all called to do.
"I saw God in an instant of time,
in my understanding,
and by this vision
I saw that God is present in all things...
And God said to me:
I thank you
for your service and your labor,
Thank you Kathy , for your service and labor.
"Blessed are you
woman of passion rooted deep
standing tall
touching all you reach
Blessed are you woman of the earth
sculpted from is clay
and fired by the very breath of God
forming and firing new life and
reflecting the light of
the One
who calls you by name
Blessed are you tender woman
freely sharing laughter and tears
wounds and healing
weaving compassion and peace
Blessed are you
woman of wisdom
enfolding and unfolding
mystery and myth
Blessed are you in all that you are".....
an island in the sea
a hill on the shore
a star in the night
a staff for the weak
Amen.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, May 29, 2011
"Peace to you, Maureen"
Thank you Gabe for a most special blessing today.
Namaste'
Maureen
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Path
My walk stills my soul.
I especially love the sound of the dirt under my sneakers. I always notice it and it creates a simple music and rhythm to my steps. This morning I couldn't help but think about how this is the dirt from which God created life . I am sculpted from its clay and fired upon by the very breath of God. Today on my walk I felt more aware of this than ever before.
As the breeze cooled my steps and the sun began to rise, I though of this verse:
As I continued on my walk, a place inside me opened up and let go to a softness in nature. I felt like I belonged to the earth, and the gentle breeze had secrets to tell me. The garden of my spirit rested in the dewy sent of honeysuckle nectar and there it was...the peace that passes all understanding... Presence meeting me and calling me by name.
My walk stills my soul.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Psalm 23
He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters;
he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff— they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil;
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long. (NSRV)
I love this psalm. There is something so comforting in its simplistic beauty. It brings such comfort and calm to my soul. It is a calling from the Holy Spirit for an awareness of steadfast guidance by the Lord. I am blessed with the perfect harvest of everyting I need , a life of abundance that leads to that peace that passes all understanding. This love of God comforts me now, in times of joy and sorrow and with the covenant of peace, rest and joy with God.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, May 8, 2011
by Jan Richardson
Already a blessing
in the walking
already a blessing
on the road
already a blessing
drawing near
already a blessing
in the listening
already a blessing
in the burning hearts
already a blessing
in the almost evening
already a blessing
in the staying
already a blessing
at the table
already a blessing
in the bread
already a blessing
in the breaking
already a blessing
finally known
already a blessing
give us eyes
already a blessing
let us see.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Doubting Thomas
This is what He does for me. This is what He does for all of us...if we let Him. In His time and in His way, Jesus comes to us and makes himself known to us. Sometimes he does it in the way we have wanted. Sometimes he doesn't. But he always gives us exactly what we really need. And it comes, not because we've earned it, but by grace and because he loves us unconditionally.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Finding New Life This Easter
It was important to me to have solitude this Lent. It was a longing and an aching for....almost as if God was calling me there. God took care of me and provided this solitude in many ways, even in the business of my life. In this quiet God's Spirit could not go unnoticed. Here I have learned this inner solitude is my place of peace, apart from the world, apart from my pain and struggles. It is lived with God and it breathes new life into me. Resurrection life. Resurrection hope.
My soul is soaking up the power of the resurrected life of Jesus.
I couldn't have solitude peace and new life, without my living in my wilderness. Dare I say, thank you God for my wilderness? I have been tempted, lonely and in despair. It has been so very hard. Because of my faith I knew you were with me even when I doubted . As I let go of my doubts and fears and trusted you in my darkness, You blessed me. This journey has been hard but is also has been life giving. I now also feel you with me like I never have before.
So I do thank you for my wilderness. It has given me new life with you.
Cherish the dark's obsurity.
Look for diamonds in the debris.
Thank God for all His mystery and LIVE.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Resurrection Light
Friday, March 25, 2011
Full of Grace
Today is the annunciation, which is also referred to as the Annunciation to the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Annunciotion of the Lord. This is when the angel Gabriel came to Mary and told her that she would become the mother of Jersus Christ, the Son of God.
Mary is the first disciple. She brings us to a deep understanding of what discipleship is about. She shows what it means to die and live with the crucified Christ. Mary brought Jesus into the world. She brings Jesus to us leading us along with her right to the foot of the cross.
Grace didin't come to Mary because of her social status, family line or superior piety. Grace came to Mary because God is gracious. Period.
The words of the angel to Mary, in her very simple odinary ways, in her very simple ordinary life, are words to all of us. "Greetings favored one, the Lord is with you", and if like Mary we are confused we can be reassured by the words of the angel, "With God nothing is impossible".
Mary belongs in Lent as much as in Advent. The journey to the cross is the journey of God with us. It is a journey that begins and ends with the announcement that we are favored, that the Lord is with us and we are blessed.
Heavenly Father,
you have created us to serve you.
You sent your angel, Gabriel to announce your favor to Mary.
We ask Lord, that we with Mary, will find grace in your service.
In your name we pray. Amen.
Namaste'
Maureen
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Celebration of New Ministry
to my care, and grant that I may faithfully administer your holy Sacraments, and by my life and teaching set forth your true and living Word. Be always with me in carrying out the duties of my ministry. In prayer, quicken my devotion; in
praises, heighten my love and gratitude; in preaching, give me readiness of thought and expression; and grant that, by the clearness and brightness of yourholy Word, all the world may be drawn into your blessed kingdom. All this I ask for the sake of your Son our Savior Jesus Christ.Amen.
The Book of Common Prayer
Maureen
Lent Pilgrimage
When I turn my thoughts to you,
I find peace and contentment.
Our lives are a journey, a pilgrimage.
From our mysterious origins, through our childhood and growing years, we have set forth along a unique path amidst our families or the significant people close to us. So, for myself, wherever I am along that journey which is mine, in light or in darkness, struggling or in relative peace and stability, still I am being drawn forward, along a pilgrimage way. Perhaps I haven’t seen things from this perspective, or have forgotten it, but it is the truth of my life: I am called by name,
"But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." Isaiah 43
We all journey along a unique path, God with me, God before me, all along the way that is mine. ‘I will bless you and go before you’, God said to Abraham and Sarah, the parents of our way of faith, journeying in the desert as virtual nomads, on the basis of God’s promise and Covenant.
Today, in our endlessly, bewildering and challenging world, we are especially called to travel in faith, and to depend on God’s word and blessing, that comes to us in Jesus. We are all called to be disciples. As we grow in faith and in our own unique discipleship, we come to live the gospel, the good news that God has acted in Jesus to save us.
Maybe, like the disciples on the Mount of the Transfiguration, we might hear the words, ‘This is my Son, the Beloved; he enjoys my favour; listen to him’. (Matthew 17:5) Lord, let me listen to you. Guide me, and lead me on.
Namaste'
Maureen
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Happy Birthday Al
Dear Al,
When I began writing this birthday letter to you I thought to that day in the car with you when we were driving the back way to Woodgrove. I remember telling you how lucky you were that each day you could see the mountains as you drove to school and the simplicity of the dirt road on the way to the high school was such a gift that forced you to slow down in this busy life we all lead. God is everywhere I said. You asked me to listen to this song. You said "Mom, I think you'll like this"
As we drove and listened to this song of course I had a video of your life playing in my mind. You sung along to the song and I had a few tears. It was a special moment. I love you and I love the gentleman you are and young man you are growing up to be.
From the moment I felt the first flutter of your life growing inside me we were connected in a special way. Mothers are connected to all their children in a unique way, even though you, Jess and Jeff never really believed that and would rally for how special you each are, in a fun teasing way.
As you mom I have given you my love but not my thoughts, you have your own thoughts. I have housed your body but not your soul. Kahlil Gabran writes, " For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams"
Watching you grow up has been fun. You have made me laugh and smile everyday of your life, from hide and seek to jamming on your guitar. You love life and you approach life with adventure and inquisitiveness. I watch you in your world of being an introvert and a thinker.
You love your siblings. Your sister has taken care of you from day one and the friendship you both share is a joy to watch. Jeff, has loved the role of older brother from the day you were born. Of course now they think you get everything you want, as it should be, right? You are the baby and the only one at home now after all!
You have a tender heart that is such a gift to everyone who is in your life, along with what I will call "private faith" that leads you to trust in the unknown and know God is so real. Thank you for sharing this with me, for sharing the 23rd psalm.
Yes Al, the Lord is your shepherd. It is also the unspoken words in the moments we share of spiritual connection, something beyond our understanding and we trust it.
We have often talked about those moments that you have experienced God's presence in your life. I think of our time together on Loyalty Road when that car accident occurred in front of us and the man died in my arms. Our many conversations about that resulted in a discussion , that I shared with you when I had gone to talk with our priest about this. You said to me then, "Mom, did you tell him that God talks to me too." I hope you will always be open to the movement of God in your life and that you will always keep your listening heart open to the limitless possibilities of that special relationship with God, where ever it leads you.
Of course, we can never forget the life changing events of our trip to Costa Rica. As awful as that experience was, watching you and your dad be swallowed up by the rip tide, I think in our own ways,we all came out of that experience knowing God gave us a second chance at being a family. We all experienced that day differently and it hasn't always been easy. The hand of God was all over us that day and over you and your dad as you drifted deeper into the ocean. God stayed with you in the water, saving you, knowing the plans He has for you. Trust that. I guess my point is the realization that we are part of something much bigger than we can ever imagine.
O LORD, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, O LORD, you know it completely.
You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it.
Where can I go from your spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light around me become night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is as bright as the day, for darkness is as light to you.
For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.
How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
I try to count them—they are more than the sand; I come to the end—I am still with you.
O that you would kill the wicked, O God, and that the bloodthirsty would depart from me—
those who speak of you maliciously, and lift themselves up against you for evil!
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD? And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139
Tuck this away and read it often. Remember always, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
As you prepare for your senior year my wish is that you embrace it with the spirit you embrace everything...with humor,your level head, with questions,with joy... You can do anything you put your heart and mind to. You are smart, articulate, and a good sport. I want you to know that I am your forever cheerleader where ever you go and with what ever you do.
We once talked about "no regrets". You shared with me that you did not want to have any regrets with your life now or in the future. Life passes too quickly to have any regrets. Just go for it. Empty your bucket list.
You know I have some regrets about some of my parenting and time slipping away. Did I listen well enough? Did we play long enough? Did I teach you enough? I hope you remember all the little things, the sound of our voices trying to sing in the car, the snuggle time when you were so little,the blanket forts,skiing with Dad, Halloween costumes, the happy times we share as a family,
your good friends Jack and Drew, the "I love Al" posters from the girls at school, birthday cakes, dinners at Kobe's, late night chats in your room, the I love yous...I hope the video that will play in your mind someday when you look back, will be alive with the joyous sounds and smells of good memories, even the difficult memories will be ones of learning and growth. Our struggles do make us stronger.
"Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5
You know I couldn't resist!
I love every minute of being your mom. So on your birthday this year I celebrate you. I thank you for the gift you give me each and every day, the gift of you being yourself and the gift of being your mom.
"Love you forever, like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be."
Happy Birthday
Love you,
Mom
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday
It has been quite a long time since I have written. I have thought so many times about wanting to write but I have not had the energy. I have been busy with some great things which I will write about separately. I also have been busy just functioning. Mostly and honestly I am experiencing a wilderness. It seems most appropriate to share that now that it is Lent. The things that have brought me such joy where I hear and feel God have been silent. By faith I know God is with me. By faith I know that instead of fighting this, I need to embrace my wilderness, like Jesus did. This is my Lenten practice.
"Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. He fasted forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was famished. The tempter came and said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.” But he answered, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Matthew 4:1-11
What motivated Jesus to spend 40 days of fasting, solitude and prayer in the desert wilderness? Where did he find His strength?
Can I spend the next 40 days fasting from the excess of my life, engaging in the prayerful solitude of centering prayer, to feed on the word of God and find the strength to do His will?
Today it begins with ashes. "From dust you have come and to dust you shall return." Life begins and life ends. There is new life with each ending. Deep within the darkness of my wilderness lies the imprint of green, the memory of life, the awareness of what has gone before and of what may yet be, the hope of transformation and new life taking hold. "From dust you have come and to dust you shall return."
Blessing for Ash Wednesday
by Jan Richardson
So let the ashes come
as beginning
and not as end;
the first sign
but not the final.
Let them rest upon you
as invocation and invitation,
and let them take you
the way that ashes know
to go.
May they mark you
with the memory of fire
and of the life
that came before the burning:
the life that rises and returns
and finds its way again.
See what shimmers
amid their darkness,
what endures
within their dust.
See how they draw us
toward the mystery
that will consume
but not destroy,
that will blossom
from the blazing,
that will scorch us
with its joy.
I wish you a blessed Lent.
Namaste,
Maureen
Friday, January 7, 2011
Finding Jesus
You see, I hid Him, so he can't be placed in the nativity early. I grew up learning to wait until after midnight mass to place Him in the nativity. Of course with 5 siblings we all would have to take turns. I grew to love this tradition.
As an adult,for years, our nativity, a treasure, is hand carved from a co-worker of John's from years ago. He gave it to us as a gift. Jesus is carved into the arms of Mary, in this one. I love that image of Mary holding Jesus, mother and son. I love that a co-worker of John's, took the time to use his skill to create such a lovely reminder of this most Holy night. The images are modern and simple, a work of art telling this wonderful story.
My sister Joanne, gave me a beautiful nativity set a few years ago, this too, is quite lovely, in a very traditional way, ceramic and every detail is painted on the fine china figures. This nativity enables me to hide Jesus. The baby is seperated from the manger. I have reintroduced this childhood tradition. I get great joy each year when I put them both out. Both are filled with memories and my heart waits with anticipation each year for the new memories created from not only my Advent journey put Christmas as well.
Late Christmas night I went to place Jesus in the manger and I couldn't find him. I can't remember where I hid him. Twelve days past Christmas, as I packed my nativity away, I realize this has had greater meaning for me.
My Advent journey has been both amazing and difficult this year.
I have had some amazing moments in prayer, which comfort me. There have been prayers of just tears, with God knowing what is on my heart when I can't say a word. There have been prayers of thanksgiving, in the quiet of the night as I watched the sun rise, giving hope and promise to the light of a new day. There have been some very difficult moments with prayers for the anguish in my heart, which at times, seems to squeeze the life out of me with a grip so strong that all I can do it put myself in the trust of God's care, because if I didn't I could slip into a dark night of the soul. Through my struggles and through my joys God has blessed me with His presence this Advent bringing me closer and closer Bethlehem.
The light of Christmas for me this year is yet another journey of clarity, perspective, presence and faith that
"all things are possible with God". Because of my faith, I know that God is always with me. I am also learning that God's Presence is with me, at times, in very real ways. This is a gift and almost humanly impossible to describe.
One night in particular, as I walked the labyrinth, my prayer was joined by Presence. I felt a pressing on my entire being. It consumed me. I would walk and pause feeling this pressing and I would take in deep breaths. We each breath, I felt as if I stepped out of myself into a veil of oneness, yet I continued my journey as if someone was walking it for me. As I walked closer to the center there was a calm, peaceful, energy within me, it consumed me and dropped me to my knees. I stayed there for quite some time. There was a glorious presence within me and around me. I don't know how much time passed but I stayed there with this strength, tenderness and peace not of this world. What I felt was an all consuming, all encompassing, real loving embrace and I say: Thank you God for choosing me and for the blessing of resting in You.
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."
Thessalonians 5:23-24
Henri Nouwen writes in his book "Life of the Beloved" that "as soon as we catch a glimpse of this truth, we are puton a journey in search of fullness of that truth and we will not rest until we can rest in that truth. From the moment we claim the truth of being the Beloved, we are faced with the call to become who we are. Becoming the Beloved is the great spiritual journey we have to make.St. Augustine words, My soul is restless until it rests in you, O God, capture well this journey."
Finding Jesus is different for everyone and the journey is so uniquely personal.
I realized my "missing Jesus" really has deeper meaning for me. I realize the fact that I am always searching for God, always struggling to discover the fullness of love, always yearning for truth, tells me that I have already been given a taste of God, of love and of truth. I can only look for something that I have, to some degree, already found...a very personal relationship with Jesus, that is beginning to embody who I am. Henri Nouwen also talks about how we grow from being the Beloved to fully becoming it. He says,"Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say, or do."
I think for me, this is my Epiphany light this year and where the work of Christmas begins.
To become and embrace what it is that God is calling me to be.To trust in the light he continues to guide me to. It is like a fusion of His will to my soul in a most glorious way. I heard a sermon a few weeks ago that resonated with me. I am parapharasing but the essence was, trust in God and step out of His way so He can work in my life. Oh, and the possibilities are limitless. I need to trust in what God asks of me and in the truth he reveals to me, embracing the ongoing power and sacredness of the incarnation, and being an example of God's hands and heart in the world, surrounded by and trusting the Epiphany light each and every day.
So, I smile. My manger may be empty with a missing ceramic Jesus, but I have found Jesus right where God wants him to be, in my heart and working in my life for His glory and to be a blessing to others.
The Work of Christmas by Howard Thurman
When the song of the angels is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their
flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost,
To heal the broken,
To feed the hungry
To release the prisoners,
To rebuild the nations,
To bring peace among people,
To make music in the heart.
Namaste,
Maureen